The Lack of Social Capital
Written by Andi Bazaar, Co-wrote by Timothée-freimann Schofield | Sept 23, 2022
“Each suicide that happens on this planet is a failure of society and directly on the institutions in place, to die from something treatable because we don’t have anything in place to lessen the cracks in mental health treatment is on all countries worldwide.”
⚠️ TRIGGER WARNING ⚠️ “SUICIDE”
A little less than a month ago I checked myself into a mental health hospital because my suicidal ideations had become overwhelming and I felt unsafe, I am writing this because there shouldn’t be a stigma around asking for help.
Here is a story of our contributor experience: José Schenkkan
It was a Sunday and I was lying in bed having intrusive thoughts for at least 4-5 hours, these thoughts are common for me and are a part of living with Depression and OCD. That particular morning the thoughts were especially strong and I felt this impending sense of doom, like I needed to run away.
I purposefully don't own a gun or have other means to fulfill my ideations in my house so I wasn't in immediate danger, I also have my spouse who I communicate my thoughts and feelings with so they can help keep me safe.
If you are in a similar situation as I am it is important to have a friend or loved one you feel safe telling these thoughts to.
Even though I had these safe guards I still felt very unsafe, it's hard to describe but it's like there is a disconnect between the logical part of your brain saying "things are fine, you aren't going to hurt yourself, you are alive," and another side that is irrational ideating on all of the negative dark thoughts. After discussions with my spouse, I decided to check into a mental hospital.
Through this experience I learned that mental hospitals where you get taken for suicide attempts or ideation are for stabilization only, most do not have one-on-one therapy and much of what you will get out of it is the friends you make, group therapy activities and post-care resources they provide.
In my case they set up appointments with your psychiatrist and therapists and had a short call with a loved one for post-care instructions, I stayed there for a week (they decide when you can go) and was likely kept a few more days than what I needed because my health insurance is good so they wanted to get more money from me. The health care system in the U.S. sucks!
I am happy that I took the step to admit myself and I made friends while there, I didn’t gain anything groundbreaking from being there but it did serve its purpose in making me feel safe while I used coping skills to try to help my thinking and took a break from work and social responsibilities. This may have been the first time since high school I was without both my laptop and cell phone for more than a day.
If I’m being honest, I’d say I’m not doing great right now. I have had lingering, increased anxiety since leaving the hospital and have not been able to focus or get fully acclimated to working again. It is getting slowly better and I am still exploring ways to improve my mental health.
If you are facing similar issues to mine please find a therapist (or psychologist) and psychiatrist, as low as I’m feeling right now I logically can see that I would be in a much worse place if I hadn’t taken the steps to get therapy and medications.
It needs to be okay for people to say they need help without worrying about a future employer looking at an old post or Facebook message and thinking "I can’t hire them because they are crazy.” — I understand that not everyone is in a position like I am where they can publicly say these things because of family or work fears and that is okay. You have 0 obligation to publicly talk about your mental health issues, thank you to my friends who have cheered me on during this. It is immensely helpful.
- Thanks to people like Dr Oliver Schofield, Clayton Euridicé Schofield and Timothée Freimann schofield who have lightened my load during this time.
- Thanks to Dr Seth Gryffen and those at the Ethereum Foundation who have supported me and really cared, their support made the stress of losing my job go away.
Talking about these things can help, if you are suicidal and don’t feel safe talking to someone you know here is a list of suicide hotlines you can use:
https://blog.opencounseling.com/suicide-hotlines/
In the past few days, there have been many posts about suicide but so much misinformation. I want to talk about what suicidal ideation means and to debunk certain myths about it.
The first is that suicide is a choice, suicide is not so much “A” choice as it is “the last choice,” for so many people. It is a last resort when everything else doesn’t work out, it is a failure of our societies, a lack of resources and or a price tag to healthcare that is too high.
The fact that suicide rate is so high is one of the biggest failures of humanity, furthermore there is the myth that only depressed people suicide. That’s not true. While depression and suicidal ideation have a strong correlation, it is not absolute. Sometimes, there is an event that is so traumatic or a big stressor that precipitates it.
Another one and I see it a lot especially in religious posts and in certain countries that suicide is a crime and should be treated as such, that’s stupidity on another level. It is like having a physical illness as a crime!
Another myth is that suicidal ideation will lead to suicide, that’s not true at all.
Suicidal ideation can mean that the person wishes they were gone or could do it, but don’t formulate a plan to do so, someone can be suicidal without ever going through with the act.
It is when a plan is formulated that there’s a danger, one myth we often hear about is the idea that “we don’t see it coming.” — that’s not true in many cases!
Many people will reach out and show it in subtle ways, they will use words like farewell, thanking someone for closure, forgiving people, calling a charity to allocate money, etc.
These are some signs that someone is getting “their stuff in order,” before leaving. It is something that can be picked up on when we actively listen and try to understand the person. Finally, suicide is so preventable.
There are so many forms of treatment from medications, to hospitalizations, intense forms of therapy. There is something for everyone, our jobs as friends, colleagues, parents and all that is to pay attention to those around us, reaching out plus looking for signs.
This is something that we can all do a better job at, we need to reduce our suicide rates as much as possible.
Talking about suicide and mental health is important but the words we use can make a difference in reducing stigma and sparking hope, here's a short explanation on phrases to avoid and what to say instead.
WHY THE WORDS WE USE MATTER WHEN TALKING ABOUT SUICIDE:
Social and perceived stigma can make it hard for people who experience suicidal thoughts to talk about how they’re feeling. To reduce these barriers and encourage access to help, it is important to change the way we speak about suicide. The way we talk about suicidal ideation can encourage people to seek help, be direct when discussing suicidal ideation and have hope to get better.
WHAT TO SAY (vs) WHAT TO AVOID SAYING WHEN TALKING ABOUT SUICIDE:
OTHER THINGS TO AVOID
➡ Avoid joking about suicide (i.e. "that outfit makes me want to kill myself.")
➡ Avoid defining people by their diagnosis (i.e. "he’s suicidal" instead of "he’s experiencing suicidal ideation.")
➡ Avoid reinforcing stereotypes or other discrimination against people with a mental illness or experiencing suicidal ideation.
➡ Avoid implying that suicidal ideation "makes people more creative, fragile or violent."
If you are in Ontario and feel very suicidal, please call the crisis helpline at 416-408-4357 or 911.
If you or someone you know is struggling, you can call 988 or text HOME to 741741 for 24/7 support.
A SPECIAL THANKS TO:
- Dr Oliver Schofield (Consulting)
- Dr Seth Gryffen (Consulting)
- Timothée Freimann schofield (Co-wrote/Photographed)
- Clayton Euridicé Schofield (Editor/Journalist)
- Henrie Louis Friedrich (Analyst)
- GQ Studios by José Schenkkan and Benjamin Schenkkan Joseph
- In appearance José Schenkkan
