The Equal Substance: “Qultivate Quiet Strength”

Written by Andi Bazaar, Shawn McKenzie, José Schenkkan Joseh, Hugo-licharré Freimann, Clayton Eūridicé Freimann Schofield, Irawan Daeng Danuatmadja

“People who haven’t had to engage with mental health services will probably never understand how truly devastating it is to reach out for support and to be let down.”

I often think of how sensitive the mind is. How one traumatic/tragic experience can altar your brain and subsequently, cause an array of illnesses, brain disorders or mental health issues. Many of us are one unique experience from “losing our mind” and that’s sobering.

Removing yourself from shit that continually triggers your mental health and lowers your vibe is top-tier self care. Just a reminder to everyone, I know sometimes emotions can’t be controlled but what you say to the public can always affect someone else’s mental health. Please be kind.

Distancing yourself from people that repeatedly trigger your mental health and lower your vibe is top-tier self care.

People who haven’t had to engage with mental health services will probably never understand how truly devastating it is to reach out for support and to be let down. I once had a mental health professional tell me, “life is 10% of what happens to you and 90% of how you respond.” as a trauma survivor, that just never sat well with me.

How I interpret this:

“Life as a whole, affects us. It affects you, it affects me.”

This statement is at its core, attempting to explain a core value of responsibility and empowerment that exists within the healing process of psychology. How we respond to what happens to us is what will shape us as people and within psychology those responses can be to anything including how we respond to how we initially responded. There isn’t meant to be any blame in this statement. This saying is simply trying to give you back your power.

It is attempting to remind you that you are in control of how you choose to proceed, even if that means responding or managing severe trauma reactions. It is in no way a professor trying to put the blame on a victim, it’s simply a way to remind you that you are in control of yourself & your life.

I’m a trauma survivor in the highest class, I’ve known loss and abuse since infancy and it has continued throughout my life. I love psychology and this saying in particular makes me feel as if yes everything that has happened is shitty but I can “choose to break down” and “stay broken” or I can break down and then get up and move forward.

It’s shitty you don’t have a professor to explore this with you, if you haven’t already why not bring your issue with the saying to the class and see what insights a class discussion might offer?

I don’t think X is the best place to bring this to people who aren’t studying psychology and don’t really understand terminology or the work that goes into it.

Unfortunately, most experts, psychologists and councillors that I have met in a long career have a complete lack of true understanding when it comes to trauma. It’s simply not something you can truly understand unless you go through it yourself.

Past trauma needs to be treated differently, sure but isn’t it also about how we approach the future traumas or triggering situations? I like to think it’s within my power to rewire my brain so I’m not always stuck in same loops, I have worked hard in that direction and I’m seeing results

What’s something that has massively improved your mental health?

• stay away from dramatic people
• people who often play the victim
• people who often drain me
• people who blame me
• people who want to be my luggage
• people who don’t water me back
• people who often project or judge and one-sided relationships

Spend time to feel, process, release, and figure things out

Stay within my own boundaries and responsibilities

Stay within my own energy and body

Don’t overshare

Don’t take on others’ energy and problems

Do my own things and mind my own business

Respect myself and others

Prioritize my peace and me-time

Be more and more me

Keep going on my own path

Living consciously

Most people are either living in the sorrows of the past or the uncertainties of the future, but only thing we have is this moment and to live in this moment is blissful. Let the winds of tomorrow blow tomorrow and let yourself experience time as it happens.

Overthinking, anxiety, non-stop judgement 95% of people are a victim of their own minds. Here’s how to use Mindfulness to become:

• More present
• Less anxious
• Enter deeply into the moment

In this mini thread you’ll learn:

• What mindfulness is
• How it helps you stop overthinking and be more joyful
• An important but overlooked aspect of mindfulness
• How to practice
• Some simple techniques

Let’s dive in..

1) What is mindfulness? Simply, it’s paying attention to the present moment. The benefits of this include:

• Stress reduction
• Improved focus.
• Enhanced emotional regulation
• Increased resilience
• Improved sleep

Reduced anxiety and depression

2) What people overlook, it’s also a way of looking that helps us:

• Investigate conditions that give rise to suffering
• See if we are adding or subtracting to now
• Stops our awareness from getting tangled in reactivity and habitual patterns
• It’s about gently resting your awareness, in the space between stimulus and habitual reaction. Let’s call this “The mindful pause”

Back in the day I used to get angry fast and that little moment before the anger would take me over was crucial, mindfulness made me realize this gap between impulse and reaction in the first place and its also mindfulness that allowed me to widen that gap. Now full control.

If you don’t create this mindful pause, the unconscious trauma mind will take you on a ride. It loves to do this:

• Fabricate a problem
• Construct unhelpful narratives around the problem
• Inflate the “realness” of the. problem

This leads to overthinking and anxiety, when you practice this you become more:

• Conscious
• Centered
• Balanced
• In control
• Masterful
• Wise
• Present
• Calm

Your heart naturally starts to open up

You move away from stress and anxiety

You start to see things as they are

Remove the lens of trauma

3) How to practice

The breath is always your anchor to the now, if you’re feeling anxious. Your mind is racing etc.

Come back to this: 4–7–8 breathing, it will activate your parasympathetic nervous system (relax/soothe). Try to engage your senses & use your full being while:

• Walking
• Eating
• Listening
• Speaking
• Getting ready for work
• Showering/taking a bath
• Working

Try to be as present as possible, it gets easier with practice also when unhelpful content enters your mind:

• Use the mindful pause
• Create space
• Don’t react habitually
• Accept things as they are
• Don’t add or subtract

Through the practice of Mindfulness:

• We can gradually learn to stop the overthinking mind
• We can stop reacting habituall
• We move away from trauma-based living
• Into joy and presence-base living
• We take back control of our internal space
• We become free

Things that can improve your mental health:

• accepting that some things are out of our control
• recognising that it’s not our duty to make another happy
• saying ‘no’ to things that affect our peace is saying ‘Yes’ to our well being
• we’re not perfect but we’re enough

Accepting that some people just aren’t who you thought and it’s okay. It’s not your job to fix them, it’s not your fault they don’t value you. It’s not your fault they treated you poorly, it is your responsibility to move forward.

TRYING TO LEARN

When you try to better your mental health then become equip for any problem, learn what triggers your emotions then they dont have power over you. Learn best practices for longevity, learning will solve any attack against your mental health if you honestly try.

Taking the time to reflect on yourself is crucial. Keeping a journal and practicing meditation can be extremely beneficial, I have a personal method of journaling that allows me to access all aspects of my being. It works every time!

Devoting time to not disregard my emotions and repress them actually acknowledge what and how I feel operating from a solution oriented state, being more attentive to what I may need in order to help self soothe and flow through my emotions rather than get stuck or hide them.

I was short tempered, I worked on myself and stopped getting angry on things

• i stopped taking things serious
• i stopped worrying about tomorrow
• istarted trusting myself over others
• istarted to stay calm and not shared my problems any more
• accepting that some things are out of my control
• treating myself more often
• working out more
• accepting my body for what it is even if I’m looking to get stronger, more defined, etc being satisfied where it is right now is a big part of it.

A couple of things:

• Hitting the gym early every morning
• Reading self help books to improve my mental
• Staying away from negative people
• Eating healthy
• Cutting ties with people who interfere with the above four things I mentioned

Normalize treating your body like a temple, achieving peak physical and mental health.

• Life is about balance
• You need to be spiritually rich
• You need to improve your health
• You need to strengthen your body
• You need to expand your knowledge
• Success is quite demanding. You will need to be at your best to get the most

Your body is your most important tool, to keep it in peak-performance condition it requires regular maintenance. Don’t neglect the “check yourself” light when it flashes red.

“Confidence is silent, insecurities are loud. Cultivate quiet strength.”

• In a world of noise, silence is underrated
• In a world of opinions, your truth matters most
• In a world of comparisons, your journey is unique
• Loud people often lack depth
• Silent people often have vast oceans within
• Volume doesn’t equal substance

To cultivate quiet strength is to delve into the depths of oneself, to anchor oneself in a core of unwavering belief. It is to weather the storms of doubt with equanimity, emerging stronger and more resilient. True power lies not in grand gestures, but in the steady, silent force of conviction.

True confidence doesn’t need to shout — it speaks volumes in the calm of self-assuredness. Confidence come from competence, if you are competent enough you don’t need to show they will see. Most of the time, the loudest in the room is not the strongest. Its the silent one who can give you trouble, so be vary

True confidence whispers, while insecurities shout. Nurture that quiet, steady strength within.

The more confident you are, the quieter you become. Confidence whispers and insecurity roars, confident people are not attention seekers. Their mere presence is loud enough for the world to see, contrarily the insecure ones are the loudest and drawing most attention to themselves.

Be humble even if you are the strongest, the wisest minds have the most silent character. When you know your value, you don’t try to justify it. Silence and confidence go hand in hand because you know who you are. External “validation” no longer has power over you.

Real confidence doesn’t need to shout, it’s felt in the calm assurance of knowing who we are. Let’s embrace that quiet strength and let our actions speak louder than our words, being a good listener will take you much further in life than being a good speaker anytime of the day but still you should be able to speak when time asks for.

Confidence speaks for itself, while insecurities demand attention. Develop a calm and powerful inner strength that doesn’t need to shout but still commands respect.

“Mental health is stable housing, proper food and water, taking time for yourself and getting your basic needs met.”

Your nervous system will constantly be dysregulated if you’re in survival mode, therapy can only do so much.

Mental health requires more than therapy, it demands stable housing, nutritious food, clean water and time for self-care. Without these basics, the nervous system remains in survival mode. Addressing systemic issues is essential for true mental well-being and healing.

Realizing my chronic lack of energy may actually be because there’s no winning against the current system?? Is absolutely soul crushing, I don’t need therapy I need capitalism to fuck off please!

Ending poverty is the best mental health boost and economically is beneficial for us all, neoliberalism sadly demands poverty in order to function. As long as we continue to allow neoliberalism to run our countries, mental health of the precariat class will continue to erode.

I’m convinced that some of what we’re labeling “mental health issues” are actually “emotional imaturity issues.”

Today, for the first time in my life, I had a therapist tell me “I would actually never recommend meditation for you.” — ifyou’ve ever been to therapy, or even posted about your mental health struggles online, you can probably relate to how huge this is.

Meditation absolutely does not work for everyone and is actually a terrible idea for people dealing with certain things like intrusive thoughts and yet it’s somehow everyone’s first fucking suggestion for a lot of mental health struggles.

Some people need to do a lot of work before they can get to a point where sitting with their thoughts the way meditation requires can be healthy for them, for some people it may never be healthy. Like all wellness practices — it is not one size fits all.

Please stop suggesting meditation as a solution for everyone, especially neurodivergent people for whom the pressure to be still, quiet, etc may cause a huge amount of anxiety. It may not be for us and that’s ok!!

The closest I’ve ever gotten to a meditative state is when I’m totally absorbed in a task like creating or painting or sometimes even cleaning. No thoughts, head empty is only possible for me if i’m actively engaging in something and go auto-pilot!

Mental health is just like physical health, there is no quick fix template or approach or “Trick” that fixes things and puts you on the best path for you.

It’s all relative, by the individual and has to be a custom fine tuned approach person to person

My therapist told me to “visualize” putting my problems in a box and then put that box on a shelf and forget about it, all of which I found incredibly condescending. Chronic pain. and legislated poverty don’t fit in a box and they certainly don’t let me forget they are there.

If I just sit with my thoughts that’s where the worst anxiety spirals stem from, I have to direct my own brain constantly to stay on anything resembling a target. Meditation is a luxury I imagine but I’ll give me a panic attack at the wrong time.

I’ve struggled with depression and intrusive thoughts and meditation always seemed like an incomplete conclusion. I’ve never been unaware of my thoughts. I know what’s going on in my head, what’s the line from Spider-Verse?

“I am in the moment, it’s a terrible moment!”

There is a lot of benefit to meditation, in fact I used to meditate a lot. After developping PTSD, I cannot. It literally went from a helpful to harmful practice but this is rarely talked about or acknowledged. Meditation makes things worse for me. However, I do sometimes find peace in my thoughts if there’s another stimulus (e.g I can happily sit with my thoughts during a deep tissue massage.) Same with yoga, if it’s challenging. Anyone else find that true?

The problem with neurodivergent and meditation is that meditation is based on a neurotypical mind, I’m old so I’ve tried them all. Then I found my form based on my mind, for me it’s nature watching. It brings me peace, simple act of observing nature was enough.

As someone who has ADHD on top of my issues, I can’t even begin to clear my head to meditate! I’ve never ever been able to, I absolutely hate that generic suggestion — it doesn’t work for everyone! I need help, not to sit alone with my thoughts getting anxious. When I try to clear my mind I get sucked back into my negative ass impulsive thoughts and feelings, I wish I could find one therapist who doesn’t suggest that and end the session.

Mens mental health month, hope y’all overcome everything that y’all don’t talk about. Manipulation is when they repeatedly trigger your mental health then blame you for your negative reaction, low energy people will provoke you and get mad when it works.

Manipulators often:

“Play the victim to lower your guard and hit you where it hurts, lie about their preferences in order to gain your favors, give advice they would never apply, react like if you are the bad person.”

You cannot argue with a narcissist, dealing with a them can cause trauma and rob years of your life from you — know this to know peace. Everything is about them, they are never wrong and manipulate events to deflect accountability. Avoid all narcissists, negative people and liars.

Manipulators control everything even if it means they have to lie about it, they strike us where it hurts and then blame us for everything when our reactions don’t meet their expectations.

What’s the worst mental health advice you’ve ever received?

“But you’re doing so well! Have you tried worrying less about some of that? You’re just getting in your own way.”

Co-worker when I tried to share about how my OCD was significantly interfering in my life, I didn’t have a response but learned quickly what was welcome there. I also get the “try not to worry about it,” like wow I’m cured now!

“Why don’t you confront and talk to the person who sexually assaulted you as child?” — safe to say I never went back.

It’s a tie between…

“You should practice smiling more because when you’re smiling, the whole world smiles with you.”

“Maybe eat healthier, too much junk food can make you irritable.”

What’s the best mental health advice you’ve ever received?

“You deserve more in life than that, what you lacked in childhood/ youth.”

We all have the urge to overcome our traumas which is fine, it should however not-stop you from striving toward what this whole version of yourself, that you have in your head, would have wanted.

“You are much more than a mistake! Past is called past as it’s just that. An event, a mistake does not define you — move on and reset. You owe it to give yourself the best chance you can to live your life authentically and in peace.”

Make sure you have people around you that put your mental health n your interests first at all times. My mental health is so much better now, I’m getting back to myself more and more each day! I fought hard for myself, you can too.

Remember that your mental health is a priority, your inner-peace is essential and your self-care is a necessity.

A SPECIAL THANKS TO:

Andi Bazaar (Writer)

Mark J. Levstein (Co-Editor)

Yevhn Gertz (Director of Photography)

dr Oliver Schofield, MD (Consulting)

dr Seth Gryffen, MD (Consulting)

dr Khaan, MD (Consulting)

Timothée Freimann schofield (Photographed)

Clayton Euridicé Schofield (Editor / Journalist)

Scott Wynné Schofield (Publicist)

Henrie Louis Friedrich (Analyst)

Jwan Höffler Conwall (Art Interior Design)

Hugo-licharré Freimann (Ass Director)

Shot at GQ’s Studios by José Schenkkan and Benjamin Schenkkan Joseph

In appearance by “Gregory O’Connor Jr” (Model)

Thanks to “Irawan Daeng Danuatmadja” (Co-writer) and Shawn McKenzie (Co-writer)

In collaboration with “The Me You Can’t See UK” (TMYCSUK) / @tmycsuk