RISE: “Suffer In Silence” (Chapter. 4)

Written by Andi Bazaar, Co-wrote by Dr Tydalé-Oliver Schofield MD | Jan 20, 2023

An estimated 50% of Americans are diagnosed with mental illness or disorder such as depression, 1 in 25 live with a serious mental illness. Suicide rates have increased in nearly every state since 1999, it is the second leading cause of death among people aged 15-34.

We need to think of violence itself as a communicable disease, we have kids growing up exposed to terrible trauma. We did a study some years ago, looking at (violence risk) among people with serious mental illness.

THE THREE RISK FACTORS WE FOUND WERE MOST IMPORTANT:

• a history of violent victimization early in life.
• substance abuse.
• exposure to violence in the environment around you.

People who had none of those risk factors even with bipolar disorder and schizophrenia had very low rates of violent behavior. Abuse, violence in the environment around you and those are the kinds of things you're not going to solve by having someone take a mood stabilizer.

• An estimated 50% of Americans are diagnosed with mental illness or disorder such as depression, at some point in their lifetime (CDC) 1 in 25 live with a serious mental illness (CDC).
• Suicide rates have increased in nearly every state since 1999 (CDC), it is the second leading cause of death among people aged 15-34 (CDC).

So clearly, mental health concerns in America are real. But is mental illness to *blame* for gun violence?

Nearly 50% of Americans think so, blaming the mental health system “a great deal” for mass shootings (Gallup poll, 2013) vs 40% who blame “easy access to guns.”

But actual academic research shows that mental health symptoms (depression, anxiety, PTSD etc) are not strongly related to gun violence. Mental health disorders are common across the globe and the U.S. is not exceptional in that regard (WHO surveys). Yet our gun violence numbers are different, so mental illness cannot take all the blame.

Further research (are you tired of all this research yet?) suggests that limiting gun access for folks with serious mental illness would lower *suicide* rates, not violent gun crime or interpersonal violence. (Swanson, et al 2016).

• Suicide is the 10th overall cause of death in the United States, In 2019 suicide claimed the lives of 47,511 Americans. That's an average of 132 suicides per day, there were also an estimated 1.38M suicide attempts.

SYMPTOMS OF DEPRESSION:
📌 Loss of pleasure/interest in normal activities
📌 Angry outbursts over seemingly small things
📌 Restlessness or anxiety
📌 Sleeping too much or too little
📌 Feelings of hopelessness
📌 Unexplained physical problems

MORE SYMPTOMS OF DEPRESSION:
📌 Lack of energy and tiredness
📌 Eating more or less than usual
📌 Slower speech or movements
📌 Trouble concentrating
📌 Feelings of guilt or worthlessness
📌 Recurrent or frequent thoughts of death

SOME OF THE WARNING SIGNS OF SUICIDE:
📌 Talking about suicide or ideating suicide
📌 Increased use of drugs or alcohol
📌 Saying goodbye to people as if they won’t be seen again
📌 Giving away belongings without a rational explanation
📌 Feeling hopeless or trapped

A SPECIAL MESSAGE TO ALL OF YOU:

Depression is a major risk factor for suicide, if you think a friend or family member is considering suicide express your concern and seek help immediately.

Talking openly about suicidal thoughts and feelings can save a life, signs to look out for: (irritability, anger and agitation) Student mental illnesses and suicide are a concern. We should think about why?

I've been getting messages of concern about the number of children dying by suicide lately, we'll look at some of the reasons why it seems to be happening more and more I had just wanted people going through a rough time or people whove had family members who did it to know they weren't alone.

I used to share a similar sentiment at one point in my life, a big reason I have changed my thought and why we have suicide awareness is those who do commit or attempt suicide already feel as though their very existence is a burden or detriment to those same loved ones.

DEPICTED HOW REACHING OUT FOR SUPPORT COUKD GO WRONG:

• don’t sit behind a screen in attempt to raise suicide awareness.
• learn about the warning signs.
• stick up for those being bullied.
• let them know they aren’t alone and be the change.

Basically depression is a sad emotion that's gives very low self-esteem cause by anything bullying or abuse it can infect you pretty mentally and lead to for more worst signs of depression.

There looking tired they might look happy but really there hurting inside, help beat depression, talk to them see what's going on understand how they feeling inside.

Give them realistic advices, always tell them "don't hide it and be happy for everyone sake but be happy for yourself be stronger person."

Nobody say it's going to be easy fighting depression heck no it's not but at least your trying to fight it back, always get back up song tumble back to the ground.

• don’t run away from sadness
• don’t cover it up
• don’t be ashamed of it, feel it and face it

It's not who you are, it's just an emotion. Use it to learn about others, world and love yourself.

Let’s talk about cognitive dissonance as it pertains to mental health recovery. As we engage in that journey to get better, our conditioning will often clash with the healthy behaviours and thought patterns we learn resulting in some anxiety. Let’s explore this further!

There are many aspects of our up-bringing that may not have been healthy from how we relate to other people, learning unconditional love, self love and a host of other issues where we were brought up to approach them in an unhealthy way.

As we learn new healthier ways and unlearn the previous ones, that process won’t happen automatically. We may still engage in the previously unhealthy behaviours and be even harder on ourselves because we were supposed to change, our instincts are still influenced by conditioning.

THAT COGNITIVE DISSONANCE CAN BE SO STRONG THAT IT LEADS TO EITHER:

• give up on the new skills we are learning because it is too hard.
• dislike ourselves even more because we hold the healthy values but our behaviours haven’t caught up yet.

It is important to take a step back and realize that it takes time to unlearn unhealthy patterns, we are often unlearning decades of conditioning and it is going to take a long time to properly make the transition. When we experience that cognitive dissonance, we need to know why.

It simply stems from the fact that the new skills are not solidified yet, they are still not happening automatically in a subconscious level. Just like any other skill we learn, repetition is key. It doesn’t mean we have to get it right every time.

Those stumbles are normal and simply the fact that we are aware of them and seeking to change them is already a step in the right direction, we need to be empathetic with ourselves because it is not an easy process. That transition period between old and new behaviours is key.

This is when we either feel overwhelmed and give up entirely on the process or continue while being empathetic with ourselves and expecting some errors, if you are experiencing cognitive dissonance because you are in that transition please know that it is temporary.

As you learn more and practice more, it is going to get easier. I have seen a few people drop out of their treatment because they haven’t been able to establish a new skill perfectly. In therapy and mental health in general, perfection is not an option.

When we expect perfection, anything short of it is failure and that is an impossible bar to clear. Giving ourselves that flexibility and empathy to change and get better is the best gift we can give ourselves as we are going through elevated cognitive dissonance.

This is especially true in a period like now where our reality has shifted so much because of the pandemic and where there are many stressors around us, if cognitive dissonance is added to the mix we can burnout very fast. Being aware of these processes is important.

We shouldn’t withhold self love/self-care because we haven’t achieve our goals or be hard on ourselves simply because it goes against the journey of recovery we are going through, we all deserve that love or empathy to ourselves regardless of how far along we are in our recovery.

I hope that this explanation helped clarify this process of cognitive dissonance as we are recovering and trying to undo decades of conditioning in our life, we deserve praise and validation simply for being in this journey.

"I think we as a society waste a lot of time trying to stop people from killing themselves as opposed to exploring why they want to die in the first place."

• Suicide is not an easy topic to discuss when mental illness is not seen as a real disease, so many people struggling with mental health rarely open up because of the stigma attached to mental health.
• Its even harder to open up about suicide in churches because some people think the topic is too heavy for children and when you’re older all you get is Bible verses and how “You’re one of God’s strongest soldiers."

While you may think "I'm praying for you," feels like the right thing to say for people struggling it isn't a solution.

Thing is, we can’t afford to ignore the topic just because it’s hard to talk about! Contrary to popular belief, talking about suicide does not make things worse honest open communication can do just the opposite.

It’s difficult to imagine what led a loved one that seemed to have it all, to commit suicide. There are no clear warning signs and while there’re many factors that lead to this tragic event the one thing that remains certain is severe depression from unspoken traumatic events.

Sometimes people attempt suicide not so much because they really want to die but because they simply don't know how to get help, suicide attempts are not a cry for attention but a cry for help. It becomes a way to demonstrate to the world just how much they are hurting.

While it might have appeared that someone had everything to live for, it probably didn't feel that way to them. You may never know why a person committed suicide, so until mental illness is seen as physical illness of the brain the world will continue to lose beautiful people and talents.

With this said, I hope we as humans become intentional in recognizing suicide behavior and actively work on listening to people with no judgment when they open up about their suicidal thoughts.

I hope as we raise our kind children we not only teach them how to heal physically but emotionally as well and I pray to God we are kind enough to apologize to our children when we’re wrong because the one emotional abusive trait parents have is holding power over accountability.

If you suffer from depression and anxiety, don’t let your mind deceive you. You’re beautifully and wonderfully made, you’re loved and your smile makes the world a better place.

I am having a really tough time with depression this week. I wasn't going to be all blah.. blah.. blah.. fishcakes about it, but recently an author friend told me he finds it meaningful when I post about my mental-health journey.

I have great support, treatment, resources but I still struggle sometimes. That's just the truth, this is an illness not necessarily a response to stressors. That doesn't mean I don't need to observe things, I need to make sure I ask for help.

It also does not mean I can't work and communicate, low mood is not the same as high anxiety. Sometimes the two coexist, sometimes they don't. Right now, I'm able to think, read and write just fine. I'm down, but not out and here's my main message for today:

• Reach out to friends with depression.
• We may not be able to engage a ton, but we do appreciate your thoughts.
• A little laugh, knowing that we’re not as silo’ed as our brains wants us to believe.

Another writer friend on here recently told me that my reaching out in a dark hour made a huge difference, I'm hardly a saint but boy hearing that made me realize that we never know and we just never know.

Thanks to all of you here who over the years have reached out and made huge differences in my life and in my mental health, I'm going to be sure I get a good rest.

A SPECIAL THANKS TO:

• Dr Oliver Schofield MD (Co-writer/Consulting)
• Dr Seth Gryffen MD (Consulting)
• Timothée Freimann schofield (Photographed)
• Clayton Euridicé Schofield (Editor/Journalist)
• Scott Wynné Schofield (Publisher)
• Henrie Louis Friedrich (Analyst)
• Jwan Höffler Conwall (Art Interior Design/Model)
• Hugo-licharre Freimann (Ass Director)
• Shot at GQ’s Studios by José Schenkkan and Benjamin Schenkkan Joseph
• In appearance by "Tydalé-Oliver Schofield"