RISE

Written by Andi Bazaar, Co-wrote by Timothée-freimann Schofield | Nov 11, 2022

"I cannot stay silence while young people suffer, whoever comes to power we need to see action and we need to see it now"

It’s way too hard to find mental health help, more than 615 million people globally are living with a mental health condition but 60% of people who need help go untreated. This is the mental health treatment gap, let's dive deeper.

Even when we have access to help figuring out the right first step can be daunting and when you’re struggling, even small barriers can feel like mountains you just can’t climb.

Everyone’s mental health journey is unique, some people know exactly what type of help they need while others just know they’re struggling but need a hand. Flexibility is so important.

There are thousands of great mental health resources out there but no centralized place to explore and compare them, that’s why we’re focused on building tech that bridges the gap between people searching for resources and providers.

Let’s talk about cognitive dissonance as it pertains to mental health recovery, as we engage in that journey to get better our conditioning will often clash with the healthy behaviours and thought patterns we learn resulting in some anxiety. Let’s explore this further!

There are many aspects of our upbringing that may not have been healthy from how we relate to other people, learning unconditional love, self love and a host of other issues where we were brought up to approach them in an unhealthy way.

As we learn new healthier ways and unlearn the previous ones, that process won’t happen automatically, we may still engage in the previously unhealthy behaviours and be even harder on ourselves because we were supposed to change. Our instincts are still influenced by conditioning

That cognitive dissonance can be so strong that it leads to either:

• give up on the new skills we are learning because it is too hard.
• dislike ourselves even more because we hold the healthy values but our behaviours haven’t caught up yet.

It is important to take a step back and realize that it takes time to unlearn unhealthy patterns, we are often unlearning decades of conditioning and it is going to take a long time to properly make the transition. When we experience that cognitive dissonance, we need to know why

It simply stems from the fact that the new skills are not solidified yet, they are still not happening automatically in a subconscious level. Just like any other skill we learn, repetition is key, it doesn’t mean we have to get it right every time.

Those stumbles are normal and simply the fact that we are aware of them and seeking to change them is already a step in the right direction, we need to be empathetic with ourselves because it is not an easy process. That transition period between old and new behaviours is key.

This is when we either feel overwhelmed and give up entirely on the process or continue while being empathetic with ourselves and expecting some errors, if you are experiencing cognitive dissonance because you are in that transition, please know that it is temporary.

As you learn more and practice more, it is going to get easier. I have seen a few people drop out of their treatment because they haven’t been able to establish a new skill perfectly, in therapy and mental health in general, perfection is not an option.

When we expect perfection, anything short of it is failure and that is an impossible bar to clear. Giving ourselves that flexibility and empathy to change and get better is the best gift we can give ourselves as we are going through elevated cognitive dissonance.

This is especially true in a period like now where our reality has shifted so much because of the pandemic and where there are many stressors around us, if cognitive dissonance is added to the mix, we can burnout very fast. Being aware of these processes is important.

This is especially true in a period like now where our reality has shifted so much because of the pandemic and where there are many stressors around us, if cognitive dissonance is added to the mix we can burnout very fast. Being aware of these processes is important.

We shouldn’t withhold self love or self care because we haven’t achieve our goals or be hard on ourselves simply because it goes against the journey of recovery we are going through, we all deserve that love/empathy to ourselves regardless of how far along we are in our recovery.

The root of every human fear is the possibility that we are fundamentally ineffective, wholly impotent and completely powerless against the forces of the universe. We fear that we are nothing, it starts in the amygdala.

Here's how to deal with fear or anxiety, everyone is afraid of something even if you think you aren’t afraid of anything you still have a survival instinct that makes you behave as though you fear death.

If you think you're fearless, you either haven't lived long enough or aren't living deeply enough.

BREATHE SLOW

Rapid breathing increases activity in the amygdala, the amygdala is responsible for triggering feelings of anxiety, fear or anger. By focusing on your breath and intentionally slowing your breathing rate, you slow activity in the amygdala and dampen fear.

TAKE ADAPTIVE ACTION

Whatever your fears and anxieties are, they can be countered with adaptive action. Either take action to prepare for legitimate fears or focus on what you can control to deal with existential anxiety, either way sitting around doesn't help. Do something!

USE IT TO YOUR ADVANTAGE

Fear and anxiety produce cortisol also adrenaline to give you greater energy and focus, your body is gearing up to fight... so fight what you’re worried about. Fear and anxiety are telling you that there is something you need to get ready for, so get ready.

BE PRESENT AND DON’T FIGHT IT

From fighting, I learned that you never stop being afraid. Instead, you learn how to exist optimally in a state of fear. You learn how to use it to focus, prepare and be hyperaware, you come to welcome it as an ally.

DWELL ON THE WORST POSSIBLE OUTCOME

Give into your fear completely, not in action but in thought. Visualize how bad it will be when your fear comes true. You'll either see it's not so bad, it's highly unlikely, or you'll start to prepare.

Either way, you're free, the trick is to see fear and anxiety as your friends. In this way, you start to look for their good qualities and how they benefit your life.

"Once you start looking, then you'll find and then you'll act. The rest is up to you."

MY MENTAL HEALTH JOURNEY

I was thinking how to address the topic mental health because it’s so complex and million factors can be important, everyone has different needs and problems — there is no blue print for good mental health. So I will describe my personal mental game-changers.

I fortunately didn’t have to live through a lot of traumatic stuff and this journey isn’t to replicate for others but maybe it can give at least one person another look on life and the mind. I consciously excluded “positive thinking,” to show other concrete points.

MEDITATION

It let me realize that not every thought we have is actually defining us or necessarily important or true, thoughts come and go we have millions of them and we are not our thoughts. We can think what we want without external consequences. What we do and say defines who we are, so if a strange thought comes up I try to accept it and let it pass. It was there present for a moment but it’s gone in the next second if I let it, I don’t judge myself for unpleasant thoughts. They are part of the mind jungle.

ACCEPTING AND REALIZING MY FEELINGS

I had to learn to accept my feelings and question them: "what is it that i’m feeling in this moment?" — "am i really angry or is it just repressed sadness?" it's a good exercise to always think where could this stem from when you have an emotional reaction that you not necessarily appreciate or like about yourself but the first step is to understand that it’s fine to feel no matter what you are feeling and that only if you embrace your feelings you can understand yourself a little bit better and work on them. This can be a very long and difficult process depending of your experiences that you had to go and grow through and for some external help to be accompanied is necessary.

REGRETS

I regret nothing, the only thing I want from my past is to learn from it. We can’t change past acts and we do them because that’s where we’re at in that moment, it’s the best decision we took with our possibilities and limitations of our mind that moment. Regret and spinning thoughts what could have happened if I did it differently were a major depressive factor for me, to see everything you do as a point of self reflection and an opportunity to learn from was a major shift in my thoughts.

WORRYING ABOUT THE FUTURE

I try not to worry about what will happen the next day or week or month (besides organizing basic needs of course) I worried so much and painted so many scenarios in my head over the years and I realized one thing "the reality is always different than you thought it would be." — The mind mostly cannot think about concrete future scenarios properly because everything is based on past thoughts that are subconsciously manifested, what helps me is envision only general things like where I see myself visualize a positive future, but not to go through specific scenarios and what could happen if I do something this way or that way. I only vaguely visualize where I see myself for example.

CIRCUMSTANCES

I realized that I can’t make my personal mental health dependent of external circumstances (I’m talking about daily ones not very traumatizing experiences), it’s my decision if I start to get nervous and angry when I’m in a traffic jam and I can also decide if I try to see it more relaxed and turn on some music instead. It won’t always work because our subconsciousness is very strong but I’m trying again and again, the same is true for other people in my close surrounding it’s easier for me to accept their faults instead of trying to change them to feel happy myself. Trying to understand why a person reacts the way they do instead of forcing my experiences and thoughts on them, helped me to relax (this excludes abusive behavior etc).

It’s important for me to don’t feel responsible for acts of other people, of course this doesn’t exclude trying to help others on their way if they want to but this e.g. also means to don’t feel envy for a life of someone and their circumstances.

JUDGING MYSELF

I try to never judge myself for failing to embrace my principles, values and standards of how I want to treat myself and others. It’s one thing to have values and another if you can always embrace them, it’s almost impossible to live up to the own standards and that’s okay. If I couldn’t do it, I will try it the next time again and again and again. For me it’s about trying to better myself and to be a better person, to be conscious of my acts and how I treat myself and others. We are not perfect humans, we can try to climb to be better but if we fall back down, we shouldn’t give up and go the other way again, we should simply try to climb again.

TAKING RESPONSIBILITY

I try to always take responsibility for the things that happen in my life (again not talking about traumatic experiences), to put guilt on others doesn’t help me to advance. Of course a lot of things that are happening are not my fault but it simply doesn’t help to think about the guilt of others. What can I do to change this situation, how can I try to leave it? Finding solutions instead of being bitter and hurt.

EXPECTATIONS

I try to don’t expect nothing from nobody, this is the most difficult in close personal relationships for me and the easiest for where my life will go. I enjoy everything good that happens and I see it clearer if I don’t expect specific things to happen.

SPIRITUALLY

I always was a very narrow minded person when it comes to this, I didn’t believe in god, fate, energies and all that and thought it’s senseless. Thankfully I had the luck to experience faith in a very open community that showed me the beauty of it, it’s about experiencing and embracing “random” things happening in your life and believing in a higher connection of everything. I still don’t know in what I believe but I’m sure the energy you give to the world effects the energy you get back to some degree.

I hope that this part helped clarify this process of cognitive dissonance as we are recovering and trying to undo decades of conditioning in our life, we deserve praise and validation simply for being in this journey.

Love x

A SPECIAL THANKS TO:

Dr Oliver Schofield, MD (Consulting)

Dr Seth Gryffen, MD (Consulting)

Timothée Freimann schofield (Co-wrote/Photographed)

Clayton Euridicé Schofield (Editor/Journalist)

Henrie Louis Friedrich (Analyst)

In collaboration with The Me: You Can’t See

Shot at GQ’s Studios by José Schenkkan and Benjamin Schenkkan Joseph