Ride The Wave

Written by Andi Bazaar, Benjamin Schenkkan Joseph | June 30, 2023

2023 has been a bully to my mental health, so I ring the damn bell. I've been pretending to be okay but this is exhausting and breaking down every day is too, where’s the middle ground?

• We need to stop pressuring people into forgiveness, not only is it not the path to healing when it is forced but it can make us feel worse and aggravate the trauma and depression.
• We can recover and live a happy life without forgiving if that’s not something we are ready to do.

Let's avoid people who aren't good for your mental health, trust yourself because you deserve to treat yourself be better than anyone else.

Can people stop pulling the mental health card whenever they get caught doing something wrong? That is wrong on so many levels and will never justify your wrong-doings. own up to your mistakes without using mental health as an excuse.

Your mistakes are your responsibility, not anyone else's, not even your mental health condition. Do not blame your wrong-doings on your mental health issue which are more often than not self-diagnosed.

Please feeling like you may suffer from a condition is enough of a reason for you to seek help, it is hard and I understand but rather than self-diagnosing and never knowing the whole truth, "don't you think getting a professional's help is way better?" — please stop!

I'm sick and tired of people taking mental health way too easily.

Don't do anything that will cost your peace or your mental health, don't let those stuff disrupt your strength and shaken you to the core.

I won't stay still when it comes to mental health, you won't understand how worse it is until you feel it by yourself. If you do and you can go through this phase, don't act like you're the fucking senior and feel superior.

The majority of racists in this social media era remaining me to wrote this article.

• "how about we stop labeling every single human based on their race but rather their character?"
• "how about people stop lumping blacks and or whites together as if they are all same."

I've dealt with bullies and I've seen the consequences of bullying, the impact of bullying can have life or death outcomes. Bullying destroys lives and can ultimately lead to self harm or suicide, bullying is so destructive and corrosive it should never be tolerated.

Bullying has a significant impact on a everyone's life. However, by making small changes, we can break this cycle. "What are you doing to reinforce the message about bullying?"

Last week I'm telling everyone to stop pushing harmful "Queerphobia Rhetoric" isn't bullying, the idea that adults shouldnt correct minors on things like that is harmful both because it allows behavior like that to go unchecked and because it means the only people who are allowed to correct it are other minors.

Teenagers are going to be the most vulnerable to things like that, both in the sense of being susceptible to being recruited into also pushing "queerphobic rhetoric" and in how strongly they're likely to be impacted by the rhetoric itself.

By saying only minors should be correcting other minors you are encouraging a lot of bad ideas and behavior (look i was also once an adult with a lot of very bad ideas i was very certain were right, it's not exactly a time of great judgment) and encouraging teens to be in a toxic environment more than necessary.

What you are advocating for is for teens who understand why the rhetoric is queerphobic and harmful to be solely responsible for correcting it, which means they have to either look the other way or else spend way more time than they should arguing online that their existence nd identities also those of others should be respected.

That's not a healthy thing to be spending a lot of time on as a minor. Hell, it's not super healthy as an adult either, but at least as an adult your brain has developed enough that the harm won't likely be as severe and hopefully you're more able to understand your limits.

As someone who has PTSD from the very severe bullying I endured in middle school (i was getting regular death threats at school when i was 10 to give you an idea of the severity) it's infuriating to see people claim that telling someone that what they're saying is wrong, harmful and explaining why is bullying by any stretch of the imagination. That's not bullying!

Bullying is abuse, it's a horrible and traumatic experience that can rob you of years of your life also even your life itself. It can easily impact you for years to come, even the rest of your life. Don't minimize that, ever.

This is the impact that bullying has, the impact that words have in real life and on the internet. Some people are just evil and I feel sick of it.

"Why do people only realize their mistakes when it’s too late?"

Bullying is not okay no matter if irl or on the internet you’re hurting people, don’t be like but I only said. Everything you say has an impact on the other persons life, stop bullying and spread love.

I personally do not like spreading hate online and has never done it myself, I have no choice but to use social media to spread awareness of my current situation.

All social media platforms need to take tougher action against those who decide to use them to spread hate because there is no room for racism and it has to stop!

No one should be allowed or encouraged to use their platform on social media to spread hate, but love. If you don't like them, no need to brag too much negativity.

Q’s is:

• why not use social media to spread light and kindness?"
• "why do people use it to spread hate?"

If youre a hater in any kind of way whether it be homophobic, transphobic, racist or any kind of hate please educate yourself. The world has no more room for that morons. Love, acceptance and support is the only thing I tolerate.

I normally don’t care if people are racist to me on the internet since they hide behind a screen and a different name, but let me tell you.

"If I see you being racist in real life, I will punch the shit out of you and you will not stand up anymore."

I opened up about how racist abuse affected me when I joined instagram, I think because I was bullied quite badly here because of the colour of my fucking skin.

Also, to all the racist people who think color matter then you can kiss my big bubble ass and suck my balls.

"Negativity is toxic, people who are quick to judge are toxic. That's what happened to the world when social media became too easy to use."

Use your social media platforms to educate yourself, spread positivity and raise awareness not to spread negativity and judge people.

PROTECT YOUR ENERGY

Understandably, emotions are running high out there and social media has become a dumping ground for negativity (also understandable).

"You never know what others are going through, so try not to judge and use your energy to check in with your people."

Social media has become so toxic and lost all sense and purpose, instead of sharing positivity here we are sharing negativity to each other. People nowadays are so quick to judge without knowing the whole story, bashing someone won’t do any good.

It’s mentally exhausting to have social media anymore, just adds another toxic environment outside of “real” life for people to judge one another and spread negativity.

Social media can just be so toxic, put some positivity out there people. We always hear about how we need positivity but so many people are so quick to complain, judge, spread negativity, put people down, etc. End rant!

"The internet and in particular social media can be so toxic to you if you let it."

So much drama, so much judgement, so much negativity. If you tune into all this stuff all the time you'll lose your mind, pick your battles carefully, and don't lose sight of what truly matters.

It's so important to learn to focus on yourself. Obviously, you don't want to just hide from reality and be self-centered but learning to detach from the chaos the internet throws in your face daily is crucial.

I promise this will make you a happier and more constructive person.

"We're living in the easiest time to break up with social media. The negativity is driving everything to be socially toxic and you don't wanna miss out on your real softness of life tryna be a gorilla guardian of the internet, let this shit burn!"

It's okay to take a break from social media.
If it's becoming too toxic, log out, block those accounts, don't give into their negativity.
They just want a reaction from any of you, this should be a safe space not a place that brings in more stress.

Kids on this social media era will complain about how social media negatively impacts their mental health as if they’re not the reason why it’s so toxic in the first place. "Who knew spreading constant negativity and attacking people unprovoked will have damaging effects on your well-being?"

Maybe if you just minded your own business and did your school work you’d be able to form a semblance of a rational thought and this place wouldn’t be so toxic but instead you choose to follow the herd bc this other 15-year-old told you something that you thought sounded legit.

Like do y’all hear yourselves?

You sound like a broken record because all you can do is say the same thing over and over again to strawman your way out of an argument bc you’re unable to come up with intelligent and sound things to say.

Claiming something and only citing stuff from ten years ago to prove it isn’t the power move you think it is bc spoiler alert, humans change and evolve but y’all are too young to understand this concept because you haven’t lived long enough to have gone through that change.

TDLR, don’t come on social media if you’re not mature enough to understand and accept the consequences of your actions. If you spread negativity and toxicity everywhere you go, that’s what you’re gonna get in return.

"Why the fuck would you expect anything else?"

It’s hard to avoid the toxic negativity that social media brings out, can you please don't take the good out of my heart and make it something bad. I love helping someone have a better life.

Social media is too toxic, I really hope ya be taking breaks from all this negativity. "Giving yourself a break from social media helps to relieve stress." — he said.

"What do you do if you have a lot of negativity in your life so you are constantly on social media to distract yourself from said negativity because its the only thing to keep you occupied rn but social media is also becoming an extremely toxic and negative place."

If social media is too toxic and full of negativity, please take a break and take care of yourself especially your mental health. Just a reminder for everyone.

1. Social media didn't really change, it's your focus that changed. If you only saw good things,it's because you only focused on good things but if you only focus on toxic things then all you'll see is negativity, I'll never let social media have control over me.
2. Social media was created and intended to be used as a different form of communication but now people have begun to use social media in their own ways like spreading negativity and now social media has become toxic and lost all sense and purpose.
3. Social media is such a good platform if and when used properly, but the negativity and toxic energy that comes along with it sometimes takes so much away from it.

In these past few months, I realised how much social media is toxic and brings negativity. I will put my mental health first, stay away from negativity on social media, distance myself from toxic unsupportive people. Solitude allows me to reset.

Social media can be such a toxic place and can effect people many ways.

Please think about your actions and what you say before you proceed to click the send button. You never know what’s going on behind close doors so why continue to spread negativity?

HOW TOXIC ENERGY AND NEGATIVITY IS LAUDED?

Its hard to believe in yourself when others try to bring you down and I need to learing my mind because is good for my mental health, been pretending to be okay but this is exhausting and breaking down every day is too. Where’s the middle ground?

2023 has been a bully to my mental health, so I ring the damn bell.

"Do you thinks it’s okay to bully and punch down on people with mental health issues and you tried denying me was even mentally illnesd and is now minimizing, deflecting also avoiding responsibility for directing abuse at me. What a piece of shit?"

Seriously how disguting of you to say that you really don’t care about somone feelings or emotions, I bet you lack empathy to even care and what you just said might of affected my mental health but nah. I’m gonna stand strong, can’t let bullies like you bring me down.

Twitter isn't good for my mental health, there are some toxic and mean people who just knows how to bully and harass someone. I'm disappointed.

When people have been oppressed and bullied for too long, they snap. I happen to know that is the precise goal of my bullies, that's why they use mental health stigma loaded slurs so they can say they were right when I break down but I've learned some great coping strategies.

I'm not saying I don't feel like I might break down at times, I'm not saying that it's easy. I'm just saying that there's no way they'll ever turn me into a violent person. I won't let them bully me into becoming more like they are ever., volence is not the answer — it never is.

Blows my mind, "how people will tweet all this stuff about mental health and how they struggle with it and then straight up bully people and put others down like how do you live with yourself?"

I feel like depression is becoming this aesthetic people take on and its so demeaning to people who have real health problems they have to deal with everyday. A bad day doesn’t mean you have “depression and anxiety” it isn’t some package deal you can exploit for attention.

While struggling kids may turn to social media as a cry for help, just know when you speak on that you are representing people who have been hospitalized and lost there friends to suicide.

I'm done interacting with these bullies, I will continue to report their harassment and abuse on the internet.

Most people run from pain and suffering, but the most exceptional humans embrace it. Here are 10 principles to be amongst this elite class:

1. PAIN IS INEVITABLE, SUFFERING IS OPTIONAL

If you can’t escape pain, learn to love it. It’s your teacher, it makes you stronger. Suffering is optional, it’s the story you tell yourself about the pain. Embrace the pain and drop the story.

2. YOU NEED TO SEEK OUT YOUR OWN CHALLENGES

If you want to grow, seek out challenges. Don't wait for life to throw problems at you, create your own challenges:

• tart a business
• et a fitness goal
• write a journal

You'll grow when you're tested.

3. THE BIGGER THE OBSTACLE, THE BIGGER THE OPPORTUNITY

If it's hard, your competitors won't do it. That's your advantage. The bigger the obstacle, the bigger the opportunity. Swim upstream, you'll find less competition and better rewards.

4. THE BEST THINGS IN LIFE ARE ON THE OTHER SIDE OF FEAR

Fear is just a feeling, fear is not real. It's a warning sign that growth is on the other side. Face the fear; the best things in life are waiting for you.

5. SUCCESS IS ABOUT FINDING PROBLEMS AND SOLVING THEM.

If you want to succeed, don't look for shortcuts. Find the biggest problem you can find and solve it. The bigger the problem, the more valuable the solution.

6. THE PAIN OF REGRET IS WORSE THAN THE PAIN OF FAILURE

Whether you succeed or fail, you'll experience pain. Choose the pain of failure, it's temporary. The pain of regret is permanent.

• it’s a life unlived
• a chance not taken
• a dream not pursued

7. YOUR LIMITATIONS ARE YOUR TEACHERS

Your limitations teach you how to be resourceful, they challenge you to find a way. Without limitations, you wouldn't grow. Embrace your limitations; they'll help you achieve what you thought was impossible.

8. DISCIPLINE IS FREEDOM

Discipline lets you keep promises to yourself, the more promises you keep, the more confident you become. The more confident you become, the more free you feel.

9. YOU ARE NOT YOUR CIRCUMSTANCES

Your circumstances don't define you, it's your response to your circumstances that defines you. Embrace your circumstances and use them to become a better person.

10. LIFE IS A JOURNEY

Life is a journey, not a destination. The destination is the payoff but it's the journey that brings fulfillment.

• embrace the journey
• embrace the pain
• take the long road, you’ll be amongst the elite class that embraces pain to achieve greatness

A SPECIAL THANKS TO:

• Andi Bazaar (Writer)
• Mark J. Levstein (Co-Editor)
• Yevhn Gertz (Director Photography)
• Dr Oliver Schofield, MD (Consulting)
• Dr Seth Gryffen, MD (Consulting)
• Timothée Freimann schofield (Photographed)
• Clayton Euridicé Schofield (Editor/Journalist)
• Scott Wynné Schofield (Publisher)
• Henrie Louis Friedrich (Analyst)
• Jwan Höffler Conwall (Art Interior Design)
• Hugo-licharre Freimann (Ass Director)
• Shot at GQ’s Studios by José Schenkkan and Benjamin Schenkkan Joseph