Our Society Is Fundamentally Toxic

Written by Andi Bazaar | July 9, 2022

“Due to a harsh stigma and how entrenched toxic masculinity is in our culture, many men won’t ask for help when they really need it as emotional vulnerability is seen as weakness. this needs to change.”

• 1 in 10 men today experience major depression.
• 60% of men are likely to experience severe trauma in their lifetime.
• men die by suicide at 3.5x the rate of women.

These numbers likely lowball it too, given how hard it is for men to be open about these things.

I think it's important that we drive home to the people around us that emotional vulnerability and asking for help is not weakness but rather the truest strength anyone can show. You aren't less of a man for taking care of your mental health.

Most times we talk about toxic or abusive relationships (men and women) when in actual fact there are abusive or toxic friendships too "a lot!"

Physical, mental, emotional abuse please if you are facing any of these, leave!

You know why you should leave? Because it’s either you get hurt all the time or you become toxic too, or worst still, both!

So leave, the earlier, the better even if you’ve been friends for 10 years close your eyes and leave! I’ll tell you 7 characteristics of a toxic friend:

1. Manipulative
when the friendship is all about him/her, always making you do things for him always getting you to do their biddings.

2. Friends that judge you at every given opportunity.

3.Friends that never apologize when they know they are wrong!
they won’t apologize because they know you’ll always come back, please shock them! go away and never come back.

4. Friends that won’t go out of their way for you but often make you go out of your way for them, that’s Toxicity right there please go.

5. Friends that make you feel less when y’all are out with other people, friends that make annoying jokes about you with other people.

6. Friends that are unnecessarily mean to you all the time, always shouting and changing it for you at every slightest mistake please pack your bag and go.

7. Lastly, friends that are violent!
they always threaten to cut people with something or pour hot water on them or knack stick on them, at any little misunderstanding please one day that hot water is going to be poured on you just leave.

SIGNS IT MIGHT BE TIME TO END (A RELATIONSHIP/FRIENDSHIP)

"toxic relationships are one of the major stressors responsible for mental health problems and most people don't know the signs of it and keep dragging it at the expense of their own mental health."

1. NO BOUNDARIES

• your partner is unable to respect your boundaries.
• your partner invalidates your boundaries.
• your partner crosses the line consistently.

Just because you are in a relationship doesn't mean that your partner or friend can trespass your personal space, there have to be some boundaries set at the very beginning.

2. LACK OF COMMUNICATION

• your partner is unable to communicate their feelings and needs.
• your partner expects you to read their mind.
• your partner is not willing to communicate with you any longer.

One of the reasons why most business and relations fail is the lack of communication, it's very necessary to have a clear, honest discussion rather than indulging into mind reading and extracting wrong assumptions.

3. BROKEN PROMISES

• a partner has consistently let you down after promising change.
• not following through on commitments.
• a major breach of trust has occurred. (lies, cheating, secrets)

Any relationship is like a contract where two people have to maintain a certain standard of honesty and commitment, if there are trust issues it already means something is wrong and a broken promise damages the foundation of a relationship.

4. TOXIC BEHAVIOR PATTERNS

• blaming, shaming and criticizing.
• ignoring your feelings and needs.
• inconsitency and unpredictability.
• dismissal and invalidation.
• picking fights for the sake of drama.
• mood instability.

If the partners involved don't see each other on the same pedestal as equals there are bound to be conflicts in their interpersonal domains which might lead one partner assuming an authoritarian attitude and submission by other leading to what we call "toxic behavior."

5. EMOTIONAL ABUSE

• gaslighting.
• name calling.
• controlling.
• threats.
• isolating you from others.
• mood instability.
• holding you emotionally hostage.

Emotional abuse is the straw that breaks a camel's back, nobody should survive emotional abuse in any relationship. If you bear with it silently today you suffer for it tomorrow but suffering is guaranteed. Move on and move out of a toxic relationship before its too late.

Remember there's always help around you just need to be ready and willing to end your suffering, toxic emotional abuse damages your brain at the neurochemical and structural level and can lead to Depression, Complex PTSD.

• One of the most critical choices a person can make is with whom to be in a relationship the second most critical choice in deciding with whom not to be in a relationship.
• Toxic relationships can not only damage your mental health but also your physical health and lead to various cardiovascular and metabolic diseases and also weakens your immune system.