MEN-inPower — #WorldMentalHealthDay

Written by José Schenkkan Joseph, Andi Bazaar & Tydalé-Oliver Schofield | Oct 10, 2023

In this #WorldMentalHealthDay it is important to remember that putting our well-being first isn’t a selfish act, but one of self preservation. By stretching ourselves too thin, we end up in a situation where it becomes difficult to take care of ourselves and help others!

José Schenkkan Joseph / Photograohed by Tinothée-freimann Schofield
MHMTID©

As today is "World Mental Health Day" I want to thank you all for giving me a platform and support that allows me to share my knowledge and to learn more about mental health, this would never be possible without all the incredible people who have encouraged me from the beginning!

The reason why I speak about mental health everyday is because everyday so many people suffer irrespective of what good or bad happens in this world. It tends to be forgotten most of the time unless a high profile celebrity opens up about it, then it goes back to darkness.

We can’t forget people around us who suffer, yhe fight for adequate mental health treatment hasn’t happened properly pretty much anywhere in this world. We have to continue bringing awareness, support and funding to make it part of mainstream healthcare even during my bad days or busiest days, I try to post something or start drafting a "poems" because there are so many people who have very few people validating them and fighting for them. That is what brings me purpose in my life and I am so lucky to be able to do this!

Please be kind to yourselves and each other and never be ashamed to speak up and and establish your boundaries for the sake of mental health.

As today is #WorldMentalHealthDay I thought about writing a small topic of things we can implement to improve our wellbeing, there are so many changes that we can make that will lead to many improvements. Let’s dive in!

The main change that we can make is go for treatment. It can be stressful finding a therapist or psychiatrist for medications but chances are we know people who have gone through this who can recommend someone, it is never too late to take that step to get better.

ESTABLISHING BOUNDARIES

Besides treatment, it is probably one of the most important changes we need to make. Take time to write down boundaries that need to be implemented for each person you interact with in your life even the healthiest of relationships need boundaries. The next step is actually enforce these boundaries, not just once in a while but all the time. Whenever we leave an opening, people can take advantage of them and then get mad if we try to reassert those boundaries again. It is better to keep them constant.

BREAK THE ISOLATION

I know it is hard because we are scared to be judged, we don’t know how others will react, we are scared they may use that information against us, but finding people you can trust to break that isolation can be wonderful. Mental health is very isolating by its nature and can make us feel disconnected with our loved ones, forcing ourselves to break that isolation even if takes a lot of energy can make a huge difference. Knowing there are people who care and want to be there for us is life saving.

MANAGE SOCIAL MEDIA TIME

So many studies have shown that social media consumption contributes a lot to the worsening of our mental health, there are also many triggering topics that can pop up. Let’s try to regulate how long we spend on social media.

SELF-CARE

At least an hour minimum and ideally 2+ hours a day should be dedicated for our self-care and things that relax us., we expect our brains to work for most of the day and deal with personal problems, the least we can do is give it a lot of rest time.

CUTTING TOXIC PEOPLE

This is very important, certain people can be too toxic for us, whenever we meet them or talk to them we feel anxious or depressed or traumatized. Cutting them off or at least, reducing contact as much as possible is very important.

SLEEP

Yes, sleeping for a full night as much as possible. Sleep consolidates memories, allows for cell regeneration and repair, gives us a well needed time off and helps regulate our moods. If you have insomnia, please see a doctor to fix that as soon as possible.

REDUCING SUBSTANCES

Using substances to cope with our anxiety/depression can feel amazing in the short term. In the long-term, we are creating an addiction and not actually dealing with the problems which will compound and make it worse.

These steps apart or together can make a big difference in our mental health, just a reminder that there is nothing wrong with experiencing low mental health

• you are not abnormal and you are not weak.
• you are the same person who just happens to be struggling at the moment.
• you deserve to be happy and to treat your mental health.

Our mental health is part of our overall health and we need to address it to be able to live a balanced and satisfying life.

PS: everyday is world mental health day here I couldn’t love it more, this is the most amazing community ever and I am so thankful for all of you. Thank you for giving me the motivation and support to continue this work.

I want to talk a little bit about how people who are struggling with their mental health may appear to the outside world and why some things contribute to stigma even when we are not aware of them, I often complaints from families or partners.

They would say this person no longer listens, is absent, always on their own and may take it personally. Let’s go through why that happens and what explanations we have for these shifts. First of all, social withdrawal is one of the main symptoms of many forms of psych issues.

Social situations (yes that includes family and loved ones) takes a lot of energy. We don’t notice that for the most part when we are doing well but when we start struggling, every word, listening to conversations, etc... takes so much energy and can be hard to maintain.

This is why they may get irritated and lash out, it is because the energy is gone and they can no longer keep up the mask of normalcy. It is important to respect their space and boundaries while they are going through this hard time, don’t force them to do things they don’t want.

Also, if you talk to someone who is struggling with their mental health they may seem absent or like they are not caring at all. Well, from the perspective of the person who is struggling their concentration is on their thoughts, their bodies, checking for panic attacks.

There is no concentration left to give to our environment, this is why memory loss happens too (in part) because they are not connected to their environment. They don’t remember much of what’s going on around them, also it may seem that they have no compassion.

This is further from the truth, their emotional capacity is not working well right now, they are going through a lot. This is going to be one of the hardest periods in their life, it is important to lower expectations and give them the support they need to recover. Someone who may be very compassionate may not have that ability anymore (temporarily), that doesn’t mean they are bad people they are just focusing inwards because of what they are going through. It is important to remember these factors.

Again, these are not excuses. This is just how mental health issues operate, it is not something they can control. So please be patient if a friend or loved one is going through this, don’t take it personally they are going through a crisis and making them feel guilty is bad!

Let's talk about the increase in mental health cases around the world, where mental health was once a rare occurrence it seems that almost everyone will experience it at one point or another in their life.

WHY IS THAT?

• Is our world worse than it was decades ago?
• Is it something in our environment that is causing it?

Let's start with diagnosing, the criteria for what fits under mental health is much broader than it used to be before. The DSM 2 was released in 1968 had 168 disorders, The DSM 4 had 297. Furthermore, there is a bigger emphasis on happiness.

The emphasis on happiness was not so prevalent with baby boomers and Gen X, in the post world era of the baby boomers and with the cold war in full swing, survival and hard work to beat the "enemy" took the full front. For millennials, there is a big emphasis on happiness.

Therefore, anything that doesn't conform with the idea of pursuing happiness, any obstacle including mental health lead to higher attendance to therapy and use of medication. Autism is another case where falling under the diagnosis became much broader, that led to a big increase in children who were diagnosed with autism.

Naturally, this led to parents fearing that sharp increase in autism and started looking for causes that have nothing to do with autism in an effort to avoid it in their kids (e.g vaccines, products with chemicals, etc...).

While professionals are easier to diagnose mental health issues, our environment is also a source of stress that we now face that no generations before had to face. Our incomes are lower when taken inflation into account, housing is too expensive, and so are the basic necessities that used to be so cheap in the past.

We work harder, under bigger stress and barely make minimum ends meet such as rent and healthy food. We lead more individualistic lives, despite having the world at our fingertips through the Internet, all these factors in our environment make it easier to feel depressed and anxious, I hope this very quick summary can help put things in perspective when it comes to our mental health and how it seems that most of us would be affected at some point in our lifetime.

For everyone in our life who keeps asking what it feels like to have certain mental health issues, I decided to create very simple sentences that can sum them up.

PANIC ATTACKS

It is liking being in front of a hungry tiger many times a day.

DEPRESSION
The whole world is suddenly full of pain and we can no longer relate to those we love.

OCD
A set of rituals that we have to do to protect our loved ones even though we know deep down that they don’t do anything.

TRAUMA
Reliving and experiencing the worst event(s) all the time.

DISSOCIATION
Seeing ourselves and the world through a distorted glass that can makes everything look distant and foggy.

BPD
Acomplex set of emotions where there is love, anger, sadness, fear of abandonment. We know it doesn’t make sense but we can’t help it.

Obviously, there is way more to this but you can imagine just with these one sentences description how difficult it is to live with any of these.

If you know someone who suffers with their mental health, just know that they are going through a period of pain, confusion and need all the support they can whether it is social support, funds to help them with their therapy or simply a shoulder to cry on.

Most of what happens in our life is out of our control but what we can control is how we feel inside, seek the person to talk to who helps you put things in perspective.

"live in the now, your present is the only reality that counts. you deserve happiness."

On #WorldMentalHealthDay, let's confront misconceptions, challenge stigma and advocate for accessible mental health care. It's time to reshape our world into a place where understanding, empathy, and support flourish. Mental health matters x

A SPECIAL THANKS TO:

• Andi Bazaar (Writer)
• Mark J. Levstein (Co-Editor)
• Yevhn Gertz (Director Photography)
• dr Oliver Schofield, MD (Consulting/Co-writer)
• dr Seth Gryffen MD (Consulting)
• dr Khaan, MD (Consulting)
• Timothée Freimann schofield (Photographed)
• Clayton Euridicé Schofield (Editor/Journalist)
• Scott Wynné Schofield (Publisher)
• Henrie Louis Friedrich (Analyst)
• Jwan Höffler Conwall (Art Interior Design)
• Hugo-licharre Freimann (Ass Director)
• Shot at GQ’s Studios by José Schenkkan and Benjamin Schenkkan Joseph
• In appearance by "José Schenkkan Joseph" (Model/Co-writer)
• In collaboration with "The Me You Can’t See UK" (TMYCSUK) / @tmycsuk