Freefall: “Everything I Thought I Was”
Written by Andi Bazaar, Scott Wynné Schofield | Jan 26, 2024
"We praise people for their resilience and how they pulled themselves out of their trauma/depression/anxiety but we need to stop and ask ourselves whether this was necessary. By having better parents, support system or a safer society this resilience wouldn’t even be needed."
When you see people who have gone through a lot and persevered, it also means that they have gone through really hard times and while sometimes it is inevitable most of the time it can easily be prevented. So many systems that seek to continue this status quo have to be replaced.
"Complex trauma is easier to deal with on a day-to-day basis because there is no set vivid flashbacks but it is also something that requires treatment because it is usually individuals who have grown up in abusive families or have been in abusive relationship, it becomes hard to disconnect with that period of life."
I had suspended article last month because it is already a tough time and I didn’t want to add to it by speaking about anxiety inducing topics but I think this one is fitting and I will finish it on a good note.
SO LET’S TALK ABOUT COMMUNITY PTSD
Many of us have experienced trauma of one from or another. Generally, this trauma is experienced by only one person or a select few. However, there are times when community trauma happens. This is when trauma inducing experiences happen to a big group of people like in wars.
However, this is the first time in history where the whole planet is experiencing community trauma not even World War 2 or the Spanish Flu were this far reaching because globalization was still in its early days. So what does it mean for us as humans from all corners of the planet and how do we recover?
If you remember before this pandemic started, it seemed like we were at an all time high division between factions, ethnicities, political loyalties, etc... While these still exist and will likely continue, we all have a traumatic experience that we are all going through regardless of any differences.
Many of us minorities have gone through instances of community trauma, whether it was because of discrimination, violence against groups, survivors of assaults and abuse. There were always pockets of community trauma.
When we all experience this, how does it change us? Well if we go by how individual trauma affects people, there is a big mental health impact that needs treatment and when recovery happens, there is generally a bigger empathy for those who share our trauma and better attuned to the suffering of others because we have experienced hell and survived it.
When we have PTSD, we gain a lot of respect for the people who treat us and those who are there for us in the difficult times. So if we were to extrapolate to this worldwide community trauma, it would mean that empathy, a feeling of community, being grateful for all health care workers and a return to listening to scientists and experts will likely make a return.
We realize that despite all our differences, this shared trauma didn’t discriminate between us. It has connected us beyond any differences. Hopefully, this community trauma can lead to some beautiful consequences after our collective recovery, a value for life, for our planet, for fellow human beings regardless of differences and a sense of collective community.
There is a lot of growth that happens in all survivors of mental health following their recovery, this is something that gives me a lot of hope and helps me through this pandemic and all those who reach out to me in big distress and anxiety because of everything that is going on.
Please cope and do your best to go through this because better days are coming even if it will take a little while, I am also here to talk when you are not feeling.
LET’S TALK ABOUT PTSD (POST-TRAUMATIC STRESS DISORDER)
Once considered an anxiety disorder, it has recently moved to a category on its own. Trauma was first noticed after World War 1, it was called shell shock because of peculiar symptoms from soldiers coming back home.
Trauma is split into main categories. PTSD generally refers to one or a series of similar events that are highly unusual and leave such a profound effect on our psyche that they change us, complex PTSD is the category and refers to small traumatic events that occur overtime.
Classic trauma leads to some very intense such as flashbacks, nightmares, intense symptoms of anxiety and affect daily life of those who are affected by it. You can think of it as being stuck in the timeline of the traumatic event.
Time may have passed since it happened but victims of PTSD continue to live the event in such a vivid fashion that they can remember the smells, sounds, sights, everything from that event. It is like living in a horror movie everyday, complex PTSD does not operate that way. In fact, it is really hard to notice and is often confused with other anxiety categories, depression or even personality disorders.
However, when health care professionals establish a good working relationship with clients it can become evident that there are signs of complex trauma in an “AHA” moment.
The good news for classic trauma is that it can be reduced and treated through a combination of medication and therapy. The bad news is that it cannot leave forever, we can function again, lead a normal (mostly happy) life but there will be moments when it pops in.
Usually in these part, I give some recommendations on what you can do at home until you can see a therapist but in this case, all I will recommend is to go get treated right away. Trauma is too intense for its treatment to be postponed.
I work a lot with trauma survivors and it is a process that can take a while for improvements to happen and sessions can be very intense when clients are reliving and even talking about these memories even after 2+ years of being a therapist I still have a hard time keeping my own emotions in check because it is just so heartbreaking and you want to just hug and protect them from any further harm.
"Complex trauma is easier to deal with on a day-to-day basis because there is no set vivid flashbacks but it is also something that requires treatment because it is usually individuals who have grown up in abusive families or have been in abusive relationship, it becomes hard to disconnect with that period of life."
If you have been the survivor or witness to a traumatic event and suffer daily because of it, please seek treatment. You don’t have to live with that intensity, as always if you have any questions please ask me any questions. I will do my best to answer as accurately as possible.
LET’S TALK ABOUT THE RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN PHYSICAL AND MENTAL HEALTH
Most of us who have gone through issues with our mental health have noticed many physical symptoms, also when we are physically sick and are unable to move much or do anything it affects our mental health.
There is definitely a bidirectional relationship between these two, there is often a separation between the physical and psychological but they are so intertwined that this separation doesn’t really exist in our life. The best examples of that are psychosomatic disorders where people lose their sight, hearing, use of their legs for no physical reason.
It is psychological and they can get back those functions later on. Furthermore, when we physically illness the way we react to it psychologically has a big impact. There were studies done on people going through cancer.
- those who were able to recover were more likely to have a more positive outlook and convinced they can beat.
- those were clinically depressed after their diagnosis of cancer were more likely to pass away from their cancer.
This is really important because it shows that our mental health strongly affects our immune system and immune response, when we are feeling anxious, our body releases multiple stress hormones. When it happens too often and our bodies are overwhelmed by it, our immune response is reduced, we start to get inflammation in our bodies, etc.
The biggest link between physical and psychological exists in our digestive system. The only other place in our bodies where neurons exist besides our brain are in our stomach, that’s why when we feel strong emotions we often feel like our stomach is disturbed and can start throwing u, having diarrhea or other digestive system related issues.
For most people, when we have anxiety, we don’t suspect anxiety at first. We think that something is deeply wrong with our bodies, we rush to our doctor or the emergency room rather than suspect our mental health because we don’t realize how powerful the physical symptoms of mental health can be.
However, we can mitigate those physical symptoms. Treating our mental health will undoubtedly help with our physical health. Coping, deep breaths, etc... will also help with reducing the physical response. It is important that we keep in mind how both our mental health and physical health are intertwined and that the separation doesn’t exist in real life.
I am open for some questions, hope this was a little informative.
LET’S TALK ABOUT "OBSESSIVE COMPULSIVE DISORDER" (OCD) that was recently part of anxiety disorders before being moved to a category on its own just like PTSD.
OCD is usually characterized by obsessive thoughts and compulsive behaviours (washing hands, light switches, etc). These compulsive behaviours look like a ritual and their goal is to bring down the anxiety of the obsessive thoughts, despite knowing that those thoughts are illogical and that the behaviours are not going to do anything, people are scared to stop them.
The compulsive behaviours provide the relief and get stuck in that loop, people with OCD can spend hours engaging in those rituals cutting into their work/leisure/sleep time. There are other forms of OCD that also exist, another major one has the obsessive component without the obsessive one where people have those obsessive thoughts that are around one or a few topics but without the rituals.
- OCD is really hard to break on our own, it necessitates external help and medication. There are a few medications that work well specifically for OCD As well as therapy to help break the cycle, the treatment centres around breaking the pattern of ritualistic behaviours and showing the individuals with OCD that their obsessive behaviours won’t come true.
- OCD is really hard to break on our own and if you or someone you know Has it, try to go to your doctor or find a therapist or both (ideal) to help you break that cycle. As always, if you have any questions please don’t hesitate to ask them.
Let’s talk about growing up with one (or both) parents who display narcissistic personality disorder or narcissistic tendencies, this topic is very heavy and the consequences can be far reaching. Generally speaking, a narcissistic parent will not their kid(s) overshadow them.
The child becomes an object for the grandiose behaviour of the parent, they use the child to gather sympathy from others when it suits them or display them to make them look good. The child becomes an object that suits the purposes of the parent, in a household with more than one child, the narcissistic parent will pit the children against one another to see who will be the one who will please the parent the most.
The one that always does what the parent says becomes a “golden child” they are the one that can be malleable and suits the purpose.
The child that resists the most or doesn’t play along is commonly known as “the black sheep," the parent will pretend that this child gives them too much hardship that they are trying the best by that child but it seems like a lost cause to gather sympathy from others.
This dynamic creates a lot of conflict within the household and there are many mental health consequences for both the “golden child” and the “black sheep” — let’s remember at that point that children are unaware of what is going on, they can’t put words to what they are experiencing.
Growing up in that environment leads to a lot of trauma, lack of self-esteem, a general distrust of others or thinking that relationships are transactional. Sometimes, that pattern can continue in future generations but at other times there is a recognition that what happened was wrong.
Children learn that manipulation and guilting are efficient ways to get what they want, they are less likely to learn empathy or grow up in a nurturing environment and this can show when they later have their own friendships and romantic relationships.
In terms of solutions, recognizing that a parent may have been narcissistic is a great first step. The child realizes that what they went through was not normal and that there is another way when it comes to relationships that is healthier and happier, the main issue becomes learning all the new ways to act to love and to see the world while also working on recovering from trauma, depression and lack of self-esteem.
While this may sound daunting, it generally takes place over a longer period of time and it is possible to recover and live a very fulfilling and happy life. If you suspect that you grew up in a narcissistic environment, it is important to remove yourself from that environment as soon as possible and go to therapy for an extended period of time in order to unlearn many of these behaviours and recover from the consequences of growing up with a narcissistic parent.
As always, if you have any questions I am around to answer them. Hope this was a little informative!
A SPECIAL THANKS TO:
- Andi Bazaar (Writer)
- Mark J. Levstein (Co-Editor)
- Yevhn Gertz (Director Photography)
- dr Oliver Schofield MD (Consulting)
- dr Seth Gryffen, MD (Consulting)
- dr Khaan, MD (Consulting)
- Timothée Freimann schofield (Photographed)
- Clayton Euridicé Schofield (Editor/Journalist)
- Scott Wynné Schofield (Publicist/Co-writer)
- Henrie Louis Friedrich (Analyst)
- Jwan Höffler Conwall (Art Interior Design)
- Hugo-licharré Freimann (Ass Director)
- Shot at GQ’s Studios by José Schenkkan and Benjamin Schenkkan Joseph
- In appearance by "Callum O’brién" (Model)
- In collaboration with "The Me You Can’t See UK" (TMYCSUK) / @tmycsuk
