Breaking The Silence: The Blessed Unrest (Mental Health Awarness Month) | (Chapter. 2)

Written by Andi Bazaar, co-wrote by Henrie Louis Friedrich, José Schenkkan Joseph, Gryffen Seth and Tydalé-Oliver Schofield | May 12, 2023

"When people ignore mental health and attach a stigma to it, it becomes a problem. We have the ability to remove and abandon this label and we have to accept and realize that mental illness really exists.”

• If you don’t believe in it, at the very least respect it and be courteous instead of being disrespectful. You will causing more harm than good, it’s genuinely amazing if you’re not suffering from any mental illness. However, this does not stop others from being so as well.
• Never mock or shame anyone who is suffering from mental illness, if they are open to you about it be understanding and empathetic maybe learn about it too.
• Do not say that they are being "dramatic" or it’s all "in their head" — those issues are not under their control; eg hormonal imbalances. Instead you can control yourself.
• Help them or direct them to a counselor even if you can’t relate try to empathize. Listen, keep in mind what they say. Patience is required, ensure that information remains private.

Keep in mind that who defines health as "a state of complete physical, mental and social well-being rather than only the absence of sickness or infirmity." — It has a significant impact on a person's well-being. There is a significant mind-body connection.

May is "Mental Health Awareness Month" a time to shed light on the importance of mental health and reduce the stigma surrounding mental illness.

HERE ARE SOME WAYS YOU CAN HELP PROMOTE MENTAL HEALTH AWARENESS THIS MONTH:

• Educate yourself on mental health by reading articles, books or taking courses. The more you know, the better equipped you’ll be to support yourself and others.
• Start conversations about mental health with friends, family or colleagues. By sharing your experiences and listening to others, you can help reduce the stigma surrounding mental illness.
• Practice self-care by prioritizing activities that promote your mental health such as exercise, meditation or spending time with loved ones.
• If you or someone you know is struggling with mental illness, reach out for help. There are many resources available including therapy, support groups and hotlines.
• Remember that mental health is just as important as physical health and seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness.

Let's work together to create a world where mental health is treated with the same importance and care as physical health.

I want to take a moment to highlight this, as there is a real case to be made that mental health is both our most critical and most under-recognized issue in the US.

As an Activist, Organizer and now working class person running for office I spend most of my time these days speaking to people both locally and nationally about what issues they are most concerned about.

Americans are worried about many things, but recently I have noticed how nearly every conversation comes back to mental health. From homelessness to healthcare, to education and beyond, regardless of the issue and often regardless of where someone falls on the political spectrum, mental health is regularly at the center.

When I speak with teachers and administrators about our education system, the most common worry I hear lately is about the mental health of our students. We have a generation of students going through one of the most complex traumatic events in US history who have spent formative years in separation and anxiety for the future.

At the same time, these teachers are experiencing mental health issues of their own, as they have been forced to completely overhaul teaching methods and in many cases become social workers and therapists in everything but name only to support their students.

This pattern is also visible in nurses who have been on the front lines of watching nearly 1 million Americans die from covid, often scared and alone in their final moments.

Our nurses are managing ever increasing mental health issues in their patients, while experiencing growing issues themselves due to the unrealistic expectations we as a country have placed on them while providing minimal support.

In my hometown of Los Angeles, arguably our most talked about crisis is homelessness but in many ways this is a mental health issue too. Our most visible unhoused neighbors are often those most struggling with mental health issues, yet mental health services are barely available to the general population and let alone the unhoused.

This crisis is not limited to people in particular professions, nearly every person I have spoken to throughout my campaign has a story of trauma from these recent years. I myself lost three family members and my small business in 2020.

I have lost count of the people who have poured their heart out in their first conversation with me, because so few of us get sincerely asked “How are you doing?”

Despite going through this experience together, there is still a stigma to mental health issues in the US. We are told as Americans to grit our teeth, work hard, and push through - values that I love about this country - but there is a limit and we are approaching it.

It’s also important to remember that this was already a crisis in the making pre-COVID.

• In 2019, nearly 50 million American adults experienced mental illness annually (according to a report from Mental Health America).
• American adults are having serious thoughts of suicide at ever increasing rates, with 11 million adults report having such thoughts in 2019.

What we can do: I am not the first to make this request, but I echo those who have called on President Biden to designate a “Fauci for mental health.”

This crisis must be treated with the same respect and urgency as COVID-19, Americans need to know that their stress and anxiety is seen and heard by their leaders. We need to hear regular updates on how our leaders are handling this crisis.

We also need to be placing mental health and wellbeing issues at the forefront of policy discussions. As referenced above, any discussion today of healthcare, education, homelessness among so many other issues must include the mental health effects of related policy.

Perhaps most importantly, we must acknowledge that "it is ok to not be ok right now." You are not weak if you are struggling.

Maybe if we can remove the stigma around mental health, we will better be able to have these needed conversations and move forward on the policies that will address this most human of crises.

If you or someone you know is struggling with mental health, the National Institute of Mental Health compiles a list of resources available:

https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/find-help

IN HONOR OF 15 YEARS OF DIAGNOSES AND THERAPY, HERE'S A THREAD OF 15 LESSONS I LEARNED ALONG THE WAY:

1. Letting out feelings doesn’t need to be traditional journaling. Talk into your phone’s recorder, type a stream of thoughts and create art.
2. Sometimes waking up is the most productive you’ll be in a day and that’s okay.
3. If you get up and really feel like you have to do something in a depressive episode, do something little. Put away 1 dish. If a shower is too much, change into clean clothes or wash your face.
4. Learn how to cook something easy that’s good for your soul, depression meals are a necessity even if you have no appetite.
5. Your thoughts aren’t facts, you’re not a burden and there are so many people who love you even if you don’t feel it.
6. Healing isn’t linear, so don’t beat yourself up if you feel good one day and not the next.
7. Seeking help isn’t weak whether that’s therapy or medication (See 8 and 9).
8. Finding a therapist is like dating, it’s okay if you don’t click with someone but you will eventually find someone you trust.
9. You’d take pills for pain in your body, so it’s completely normal to take them for your mind. End the stigma!
10. Feel your feelings, don’t just intellectualize them. Pushing things down hurts you long term.
11. Speak to yourself the way you’d speak to your best friend, positive self talk when things are good can help when things get dark.
12. Check on your people and be kind to people, you never know what someone’s suffering through in silence.
13. Crying is cathartic, don’t be afraid of it and let that stuff out (looking at you gentlemen).
14. Make a safety plan in case you feel yourself slipping into a suicidal place, know what to do/who to call to help you when you can’t help yourself.
15. Trauma comes in all shapes and sizes, be gentle with yourself while healing.

LET’S TALK ABOUT SUICIDE AWARENESS, WHAT IS SUICIDE AWARENESS?

Suicide is a serious public health problem that can have lasting harmful effects on individuals, families and communities. There are many factors that contribute to suicide, the goal of suicide prevention is to reduce factors that increase risk and increase factors that promote resilience.

WHY IS IT IMPORTANT TO TALK ABOUT SUICIDE AWARENESS?

• 48,000 deaths caused by suicide in 2021.
• 12.3M adults seriously thought about suicide.
• 36% higher suicide rates in 2021 compared to rates in 2000.

WHAT CIRCUMSTANCES PROTECT AGAINST SUICIDE RISK?

• strong sense of cultural identity
• coping and problem, solving skills
• support from partners, friends and family
• feeling connected to others
• availability of consistent and high quality physical and behavior healthcare

To encourage people to open up more about their mental health, I’m going to get uncomfortable. This is to help show you that, though it may seem scary to open up, stigma is the reason it seems so scary.

"let’s end the stigma together, talking helps you and me alike."

I haven’t always been so open, I used to pretend keeping up with other people so I didn’t affect the vibe. I avoided so many plans with people, still do. I would lie as to why: I couldn’t lock up as I’d lost my keys, I have a bug, turn my phone off… Excuses seemed easier.

As I have now been diagnosed with BPD, all those years I didn’t know what was wrong. I thought I was weird, worthless, broken. I have winged life, that’s why diagnosis has been so important for me, because I feel validated and understand things so much more clearly about myself.

In 2007, I was attacked and hospitalised as a result. 6 months on, I was sexually attacked. Months after that, in came PTSD. I couldn’t work, leave my home, feel safe. The paranoia was crippling, I attempted suicide several times. That and my childhood made me think there was no point.

I suspected everyone, experienced psychosis, stopped eating, in constant fear for my life. It felt 100% real but I put the work in attended therapy (alone) and tried my hardest to re-wire my brain. 5 years of 24/7 suffering was finally 1/7, then 0.20/7 glad I was alive.

During those 5 years, one of my family member died and was responsible for his estate. I wasn’t working, I felt like a loser but I did it. I was a hysterical wreck that he’d gone, the man that seemed impenetrable. The hard, angry man that struggled himself. Heavy smoker and drinker suddenly just gone.

Growing up on tenterhooks due to his extreme anger had a lasting effect on all of us, I don’t remember a huge deal as a child, blocked it out. I remember glimpses of nice things, but the rest is all bad. I don’t remember myself, just my fear. Sounds bad to say now, but it’s true.

I know it’s hard to open up, for fear of being judged but speaking out will help those who have the same mental health issue as you do. You’d be speaking out for them, raising awareness. Also, mental health issues are normal reactions for the circumstances you lived or are hereditary, no shame in it.

In between the inner turmoil, dermatillomania, episodes and negative self-talk, I have a long way to go and will go through intensive therapy. The waitlist is so long. Having steroid dependent adrenal insufficiency is more fun than the way my mind works and I handle I better.

So, there’s a few stories worth about how I feel, frankly. The days I spend ugly crying, feeling like a bag of shit, yo-yoing in weight, being the loving, sociable, funny cow that’s armour. Some days it’s too heavy to put on but I’m me and you are you and that’s great.

Those are my warts, show me yours. I won’t judge, I have far too much understanding and empathy for people. The more it’s spoken about, the smaller the stigma will be.

IT’S A PERFECT TIME TO TALK ABOUT BIPOLAR

Anyway, my story. I was diagnosed with Bipolar II at 20, after having had to move back home to Ohio from D.C. after a summer of not being able to hold down a job.

Earlier in the year, around Memorial Day I’d checked myself into Sibley Memorial Hospital for help — at the strong urging of my dearest friends. It wasn’t the solution, but it started me on the path. I was started on an anti-depressant which got me over the “no meds” hurdle.

The summer was both not all bad by memory — yet obviously a complete disaster of a shitshow by all actual evidence. By the end of the summer, I tried to work at Kramerbooks for a week but that didn’t work! I was out of money and weighed 115 pounds, in August I moved home.

As soon as I saw a doctor in Ohio, it was clear there was more than depression going on so we started on a new path. I changed meds, read all about bipolar and started — slowly — pulling my life back together. I started working eventually moved into an apt, found a new path.

I also turned 21 and part of me ignored the warnings I read about addiction and bipolar disorder (and my own family history) as I started drinking more regularly. That led to problems and eventually sobriety but as I learned later I used it to cope with my bipolar mood swings.

But the healthy and unhealthy coping mechanisms helped me move forward, I graduated from college at Youngstown State (after having started at American), worked for a campaign and at a newspaper and went to law school at Ohio State.

As the drinking increased, my caring about taking my meds a pill in the morning and another at night decreased. I’d go a month or two off my meds here and there. (Note: Not good!) Drinking, irregular meds and not really paying attention to my mental health caused more shitshows.

Eventually, that left me unable to find or really care about finding a job, which eventually led to friends this time basically teaming up and telling me it was time to move back to DC. I wanted to do it, but I was completely stuck. They helped make it possible!

I moved back to DC, living with dear friends out in Virginia. I started Metroing into the city and applying for jobs, I was blogging. That led to Metro Weekly, covering DC marriage and then the start of “don’t ask, don’t tell” repeal but I was still drinking.

After like 6 months back in DC and a few more shitshows, I eventually had enough of the drinking and started on the path to sobriety. It was only then, however (and,m honestly, a couple years in) that I realized I needed to focus again on learning to live with bipolar sober.

While there were many parts of that process that were tough and painful, that combination facing how to live with my bipolar and my addiction is what created the life I lead today. It just opened up a whole new world one that actually made sense to me.

It’s different, it’s not what I imagined for myself but it’s so much better than so many of the other possibilities and honestly I think my addiction and my bipolar and what I’ve learned about living with them helped me so much with making it through this past year.

And my life is fulfilling even when I had to change my meds for the first time in 20 years during a depressive episode during this stupid pandemic, I took it in stride grateful that there was something to help me.

Most importantly, those two experiences learning to live with bipolar and addiction can save me when I do screw up something that still happens every day in ways large and small if I’m honest with myself.

STIGMA OVER MENTAL HEALTH DIAGNOSES MUST END

I am privileged enough, have the support systems in place and am ok enough right now to share my story to help chip away at that stigma a little bit. Not everyone can or should or wants to do that and that’s 100% ok.

Anyway, I’m here. Living with bipolar can be tough but learning to live with it can open up a world like none that you’ve ever known, love to everyone who is traveling on their own journeys with bipolar.

So, that’s my story. If you need help reach out to someone. If you’re not doing well and need to talk to someone, please try the "National Suicide Prevention Lifeline"

suicidepreventionlifeline.org

A SPECIAL THANKS TO:

• Andi Bazaar (Writer)
• Yevhn Gertz (Director Photography)
  • Dr Oliver Schofield, MD (Consulting)
• Dr Seth Gryffen, MD (Consulting)
• Timothée Freimann schofield (Photographed)
• Clayton Euridicé Schofield (Editor/Journalist)
• Scott Wynné Schofield (Publisher/Model)
• Henrie Louis Friedrich (Analyst)
• Jwan Höffler Conwall (Art Interior Design)
• Hugo-licharre Freimann (Ass Director)
• Shot at GQ’s Studios by José Schenkkan and Benjamin Schenkkan Joseph
• In appearance by "Scott Wynné Schofield" (Model)
• In collaboration with The Me: You Can’t See