Breaking The Silence: Quarter Life Of Crisis (Mental Health Awarness Month)

Written by Andi Bazaar, Gryffen Seth, Henrie Louis Friedrich and Tydalé-Oliver Schofield | May 5, 2023

"In my teens and most of my 20s I struggled with intense periods of suicidal ideation, the thought of taking my own life didn’t even seem like ideation in the moment. It went beyond that it was a certainty that hadn’t yet come to pass."

In this "Mental Health Awareness Month" let’s talk away the dark, now is a good time to pause and reflect because May is Mental Health Awareness Month.

Do you know some signs of mental illness or when a friend, family member or some ome close to you is battling with their mental health? We’ll in this chapter put together some signs.

Suicide is a topic that hides in the shadows, all too often it goes unaddressed even when we may sense someone is struggling.

I've learnt that mental health is not a destination but a process, it's basically about how you drive and not where you're going. It has taught me to be kind to myself and to always express myself, now I'm enjoying every side of me and learning to live one step at a time.

We might worry that saying the wrong thing will make it worse, so we end up not saying anything even though a few kind words can make the difference in connecting someone to help or supporting someone who has experienced a suicide loss. It's time we shed some light on this leading cause of death.

Throughout #MentalHealthAwarenessMonth, we will be providing tips to help you start a conversation and recognize warning signs and risk factors of suicide, share with a friend so they can get resources too!

SIGNS AND SYMPTOMS ASSOCIATED WITH STRESS INCLUDE:

• Difficulties with sleep
• Low energy and motivation
• Sadness
• Nervousness
• Difficulties with concentration
• Questioning one’s abilities
• Feeling easily annoyed or irritable

Depending on the age and personality of your child, stress can be handled differently. Children may show:

• Defiance
• Disrespect
• Complaining
• Fighting
• Not wanting to leave your side
• Ignoring

One of the best things you can do is to practice self-compassion, be nice to yourself. Ideas for this include:

• Remain hopeful, find things to be grateful about. You could start a gratitude journal or keep notes in a gratitude jar.
• Use your phone or computer to stay connected with a balance on when to disconnect.
• Get the facts but monitor the time you spend watching the news.
• Eat healthy and exercise, maybe not the time to go on a strict diet or exercise regime amd find a way to make small changes such as eating less of the “bad food” or going on walks.
• Focus on what you can do to stay prepared.
• Be fun and creative while at home (e.g., dance, listen to music, small house projects, journaling).
• Setting a routine/structure to the day can combat boredom.
• Do not smoke, drink alcohol or use drugs to deal with your feelings.

We need to take care and check on our loved ones, mental stress can impact the immune system in many different ways and increase physical illness.

Depression is a serious mental health condition that can have a wide range of negative effects on a person's life, young people with brighter future end their lives by committing suicide because of depression.

LET'S TALKS ABOUT SIGNS AND WAYS TO AVERT DEPRESSION:

SIGNS

• Unexplained or aggravated aches and pains
• Feelings of hopelessness, helplessness or worthlessness.
• Anxiety, worries, irritability, a pervasive sense of guilt.
• Memory problems, slowed movement and speech.
• Thoughts of suicide or preoccupation with dying.
• Lack of motivation and energy.
• Loss of interest in socializing and hobbies.
• An inability to function or neglecting personal hygiene, skipping meals, forgetting medications.
• Seeing or hearing things that are not there.

Being active physically, mentally and socially can help reduce or prevent depression. These can be achieved by:

EXERCISING

Stay active, it may be just as effective as antidepressants in relieving depression even small things like light housework or short walks can help.

STAYING IN TOUCH WITH OTHERS

Even if you don’t feel like it, keep in touch by phone or email, get out of the house or invite a friend or loved one to visit. It’s never too late to build new friendships or join a group of people with similar interests.

GETTING ENOUGH SLEEP

7 to 8 hours each night are recommended, lack of sleep can lead to an imbalance in neurotransmitters such as serotonin and dopamine which are involved in mood regulation. This can contribute to the development of depression.

Eating healthy meals, making it a point to avoid too much sugar and junk food.

Certain nutrients, such as omega-3 fatty acids, B vitamins and magnesium are important for brain health and may help to improve mood.

VOLUNTEER, CARE FOR A PET OR FIND A GOOD MOVIE / BOOK THAT MAKES YOU LAUGH.

Volunteering can provide a sense of purpose and fulfillment and can also help individuals feel more connected to their community and environment. Interacting with a pet can also provide a sense of comfort and can be a source of enjoyment and pleasure.

SEEKING SUPPORT FROM A MENTAL HEALTH PROFESSIONAL:

They can provide you with an accurate diagnosis and work with you to develop a treatment plan tailored to your needs.

SELF-MOTIVATION AND POSITIVE SELF-TALK

Saying good things about yourself and rewarding yourself for completing a simple task, tune in to the tone and content of your inner chatter and work on changing it if it isn’t positive.

SELF-ENCOURAGEMENT WORKS BETTER

It can be difficult to find motivation when you are struggling with depression, as the condition can sap your energy and make it hard to find joy in things. However, it is important to remember that recovery from depression is possible and that taking steps to manage your depression can lead to significant improvements in your quality of life.

THIS IS MY STORY, MY NAME IS SCOTT WYNNES SCHOFIELD

Some late night thoughts about a lifetime of managing depression, I don’t have a goal beyond sharing my experience with those who may relate. Hope it helps.

Let me start by saying that I am not a doctor, depression is, by many fortunate enough not to live with it regarded as some sort of prolonged and persistent sadness. That is only half-true.

For me, depression is an old friend or a warm-bath both comfortable and familiar. That is not to say that it is enjoyable but for someone who hates the unpredictable, it is at least regular and known.

Depression is the void: a joy-dampener and energy time-suck which robs me—with great frequency—of what could otherwise be precious moments in my life.

I can remember being depressed as early as 7 or 8, what unique genetic or environmental traits shaped that blueprint I may never know but I do know that even at that age. When my friends were playing soccer, I was wondering why I didn’t enjoy any of the things my friends enjoyed.

The thing about depression is that it’s difficult for others to detect, mental scars are not as readily apparent as physical ones and it’s only recently where the stigma of even discussing (much less understanding) it is becoming more commonplace.

"in short, it’s still tough."

If you’ll indulge me in another cliché: depression ebbs and flows like the tide, its pressure on me builds and weakens, day after day and after nearly three decades of living with it I’ve become remarkably skillful at hiding it.

"In my teens and most of my 20s I struggled with intense periods of suicidal ideation, the thought of taking my own life didn’t even seem like ideation in the moment. It went beyond that it was a certainty that hadn’t yet come to pass."

SO, WHAT KEPT ME AFLOAT ALL THOSE YEARS?

It wasn’t therapy (I never had money for the good stuff and the limited experiences I did have were woefully lacking), it thankfully wasn’t drugs or alcohol (I’m pretty neutral to most substances but I’m not the type to self-medicate).

In retrospect, it was a combo of music, books, paintings, video games, tech, stand up comedy and a profound love of animals. I credit all of them with saving me.

I’ve often felt numb in my emotional range, so anything that could make me think or feel was especially appreciated.

Many years ago, I lost my closest friend to a mixture of bad luck and their history of self destructive behaviour, he was an immensely talented artist on the cusp of breaking out and the loss of him kept me jaded for years.

When I moved to Canada in 2016, I became good friends with a brilliant woman who also had a long history with depression and suicidal ideation. A few years later as I was getting ready to leave Canada, she killed herself leaving her young child, parents and husband behind.

Not a day that goes by where I don’t miss them and with no belief in the divine, I don’t even have the small comfort to imagine they’re somewhere better. They’re just gone. Instead, I learned to take them with me. They become a part of you and you do your best to honour them.

So why am I suddenly writing about depression, suicide and my dead friends? If I’m being totally honest with myself, I think it’s because my headspace is in a much better place these days. Good, right? But while I should celebrate that fact, a part of me is frightened by it.

As I said, depression is a warm-bath. It’s something I can easily slip into: it’s familiar and expected. What’s not familiar is having a wife and child who love me, a wonderful job that I thrive in and a MHMTID & TMYCSUK community full of friends and support.

"i don’t trust good things."

Sometimes I find myself looking at my son and wondering what faulty genetics of mine he may have inherited:

is he already at a disadvantage due to the complete randomness of being my child?
does he even have a chance to be happy?

DARK THOUGHTS, I KNOW!

But then I remember the role that environment and support plays and the dramatic impact that love may have, I often think of everything I wanted but didn’t receive and I plan for a future where I can give him all of that and more.

I’m hopeful for my family, it took me over two decades to find where I belong but I’m grateful that I stuck around long enough to see things get better.

In this chapter has a deeper meaning, I’m doing this just incase someone needed to hear it. You don’t have to read it, but it would mean a lot to me if you did.

Last night, I was very close to calling it quits or just giving up. These past couple of days have been some of the hardest in my life, almost two years ago this year my grandfather ended up passing away before COVID-19 hit.

I will forever be grateful that I had the chance to stay with him in the hospital before corona existed (this was in sept-oct).

Grief of someone you are really close to, I wish none of you have to go through that. it truly hurts someone mentally and physically so fucking much, I was in shock for a good few months and it never really hit me.

For 2 months, I cried myself to sleep. There wasn’t one second that he didn’t appear in my mind, I was so close to giving up but my friends helped me and were always there for me. Fast forward till this year, my mental health ended up getting bad again. I didn’t have the motivation to do anythin, I pushed all my friends away (still talking to them at work and that’s it), I haven’t hung out with anyone since probably new years and I just lost communication with a lot of people.

My wife is never home, she’s always working. She came back today after about 7 weeks, since last march I have been asking her to take me to the doctor to see if I have anxiety and depression and she still refuses.

I said one time, “sorry i don’t have motivation to do any of my missing assignments” and she said that’s life. A few days ago, I finally owned up to her and she told me to knock it off.

I have been completely alone with my thoughts for about 3 hours, in that span of 3 hours all I have done is cried. I was so close to calling it quits, so close I was thinking to myself.

• What in my room can I use?
• What would I say in my in my suicide letters?
• Who would I send those letters to?

Every single thought entered my head and it was so fucking much for me to handle, I told this not so I can get “praised” for being so “strong” for coming out with my story but for anyone who is going through what I currently am I want you to know that you aren’t alone.

I stopped my thoughts by simply just doodling, I created a list of 17 different reasons why staying is worth it. Some of those are that I haven’t met my irl bsf of almost 8 years yet, in that time without my phone or anything, I felt totally alone, I was trying to reach out to my friend as a last resort. I stayed because of that list

Just remember, you aren’t alone. You have people that love and care about you, it might not be your family but I care about you and so do your friends and everyone.

Everything will turn out okay, it might not seem like it in the moment but distracting yourself with little things can do wonders.

You are loved, you are specialband you are so worth it. You existing can make someone’s day and if you were gone, imagine how they would feel. Losing someone so close to them, not seeing your smile, your funny moments — all of it to leave them with just the memories.

In the moment, you might feel alone and that this is the only thing that could make you happy but trust me it won’t make it any better. Your pain might be gone, but the pain of grief and loosing someone is so unbearable. Trust me, I’ve been through it a few times. If you don’t want to stay for yourself, stay for the people around you also someone could seem happy and content but below a mask can hide so much emotion.

Be careful of what you say to someone else, you have no idea what they are going through and words can hurt someone who is already mentally hurting themselves.

Ps.
"Another reason why I tell this is to inspire people to reach out whenever they are in this situation because trust me it really is hard."

Let's talk about resilience, it is very fitting to talk about it right now because I see displays of resilience everyday here and offline for people going through very difficult situations right now.

We will define resilience as being able to cope with a psychological and emotional crisis, all of us have resiliency. It is an evolutionary capacity to deal with danger in order for us to be able to act despite threats to our life, the whole world is going through a crisis right now and is calling for resilience from us.

SO, HOW TO WE TYPICALLY RESILIENCE?

Well in order for it to come out, we need self-awareness. This comes in realizing what we are going through and knowing the threat it poses to ourselves.

LET'S SAY SOMEONE WITNESSES A TRAGIC EVENT

Resilience starts to show once we are aware that what we just witnessed poses a threat to our wellbeing, the second important trait for resilience is flexibility. We are all showing a lot of flexibility right now, most of us can't go to work can't even leave our houses.

We have to deal with reduced supplies in supermarkets, not seeing our loved ones, being able to socialize in pubs, cafes, etc...

We show flexibility by being online more, using other forms of communication, buying foods that we may not usually eat and isolating when our instincts tell us to go out. These are all displays of flexibility that allow us to keep our quality of life despite not having the tools that we usually have, another aspect is coping. Isolation, lack of work and activities and spatial restrictions can be detrimental to our mental health.

Therefore, we need more than ever to use our coping mechanisms and to find new ones that can help us through this crisis.

A lot of people have shared that they are watching movies they have not thought they would have liked, that they are learning new forms of art, music even a new language online.

• Those all show coping by trying new activities because the previous ones were not enough to help out in this more serious situation, turning to comedy or comedic relief is also a coping mechanism that allows us to escape from this situation temporarily.
• Those are all examples of how resilience plays a role in helping us deal with this unprecedented situation.

Please remember that resilience can't be enough for some people who trauma, depression and mental health can have a hard time coping with this added stress. I realize that emotional labour is low within ourselves, but if you know someone who is not doing well please check up on them make sure that they are okay so that we can all get through this.

I just want to say that I admire you all for the displays of resiliency that you are showing and it inspires me to get through this.

May is "Mental Health Awareness Month"

There are many warning signs that a person may be at risk of suicide, if you or someone you know needs help now, the 988Lifeline is here to help. Check out this to learn about suicide warning signs in adults.

If someone you know is talking about or making plans to hurt themselves, take it seriously. Let them know there is hope and encourage them to call or text 988 for help.

Many people at risk of suicide feel they are a burden to others or a problem that can’t be solved, show them love and compassion and let them know that help is available.

Learn more:
https://988lifeline.org/help-someone-else/

Significant behavior changes can be a sign that someone is in a mental health crisis, learn more about warning signs that may mean someone is at risk:

https://988lifeline.org/help-someone-else/

Is someone you care for withdrawing from things around them? This may be a warning sign that they are in crisis, check-in on them and show them you care. Encourage them to call or text 988 to talk to a trained crisis counselor any time.

Big feelings like extreme anger may be a risk factor for suicide, ask questions and be willing to listen.

If you or someone you know is struggling or in crisis help is available.

• Call or Text : 988
• Chat : 988lifeline.org
• National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (US): 1-800-273-8255

If you’re in the US and need somebody to talk to, please give them a call. You can also reach out to a mental health professional Suicide & Crisis (988 LIFELINE)

A SPECIAL THANKS TO:

• Andi Bazaar (Writer)
• Yevhn Gertz (Director Photography)
• Dr Oliver Schofield, MD (Consulting)
• Dr Seth Gryffen, MD (Consulting)
• Timothée Freimann schofield (Photographed)
• Clayton Euridicé Schofield (Editor/Journalist)
• Scott Wynné Schofield (Publisher)
• Henrie Louis Friedrich (Analyst)
• Jwan Hofflér Conwall (Art Interior Design)
• Hugo-licharre Freimann (Ass Director)
• Shot at GQ’s Studios by José Schenkkan and Benjamin Schenkkan Joseph
• In appearance by "Scott Wynné Schofield" (Model)