Breaking The Cylce (Chapter. 2)

Written by Andi Bazaar | Oct 8, 2022

Given that the start of recovery in our mental health is not linear and can happen slowly, let’s talk about the early signs of recovery and getting better. Knowing those signs can help us give ourselves the credit and validation for all the work we did to get better.

One of the signs will be the ability to cope, we will start to feel as though our symptoms are not as debilitating as we thought. Instead of feeling hopeless or helpless, we will start to feel as though there is a way out. It may be just a flicker of light at the end of the tunnel.

It may not happen all the time or even often but just starting to experience it is amazing, the main characteristic of most mental health issues is that they make us feel trapped and unable to get out of that cycle. Starting to feel as though we can get better is amazing.

Another sign is going to be the ability to do more tasks during our day. Whereas before, we struggled to get out of bed and even eat or take a shower when we get better we realize that we can slowly do more things during our day even if it is not a lot more and not all days.

The future doesn’t seem as bleak with anxiety, all possible scenarios and roads we imagine are bad. When we start to feel that there are good things or even neutral situations awaiting us in the future we start to have that balance that reduces our experience of anxiety.

We are able to talk with people around us more. With depression, we tend to socially withdraw. Lack of energy, fear of being judged and low self-esteem can make us withdraw fast. When we feel the need to connect to people around us and loved ones, it is an amazing sign!

Another sign is establishing boundaries. When our self-esteem is low, we feel as though no one should love us. We can’t be in a position to have boundaries but when we establish boundaries and don’t let people go over them it is a great start.

We start taking of ourselves more, self-care is an awesome indicator of the fact that we value ourselves and put some of that energy towards showing love to ourselves. The more we feel that need to relax and pamper ourselves, the better it is.

Another amazing sign is we have a good insight on people who are toxic and contribute to our mental health issues, the ability to recognize it and eliminate them from our life is a crucial step because it tells us that we deserve better people around us.

Another one we tend to disregard is being connected to our environment, when we are more connected to our environment and less zoned out. It is a sign that our thoughts or emotions are not as strong as they used to be making us zone out all the time.

Finally our memories, concentration, attention span slowly start to return. This is by far one of the slowest changes that happen. If you haven’t noticed this one yet don’t worry, it can take a while after recovery to reappear but when it does it is such a wonderful feeling.

Let’s talk about "Procrastination" and how it relates to mental health, it is by far in the top of what bothers people the most when it relates to their mental health. It impacts everything we do including our daily habits such as hygiene and food, let’s dive deeper.

"Procrastination" is not a disorder or something that can be “fixed” on its own because it is a consequence of other mental health issues, pretty much every single mental health concern can show itself through procrastination because it is a matter of energy output.

When we are doing well physically and psychologically, we often don’t realize how much energy it take to get through all the tasks in our day. We take them for granted because they seem so easy, picking up a toothbrush, taking a shower or even stepping outside seem easy.

However when we burnout, suffer from depression, anxiety, trauma, etc most of our energy is diverted to our thoughts/moods/solving what is happening leaving very little for our daily tasks. This means that we now have to deal with the same routine with much less energy.

Given that it is impossible to do the same things with less resources, our brain tends to prioritize certain things that seem inescapable or essential to survival, leaving out the rest as “non-essential” and can be dealt with later but what our mind considers essential may not be the same as what we consider essential. Working a lot, showers, exercise, going to appointments are things we consider essential but may not have the energy for them left.

That phone call to the dentist or replying to a friend seem like impossible tasks because when we are done with what we had to do, there is nothing left in us to give even if we force it a little then we have even less energy for the next day.

Given this constant trap of procrastination, we do what we think is best and that is to hunker down and work harder. After all, I am just being “lazy” and need to focus on my priorities. Right? Nope, that is exactly the opposite of what we need to do.

Yes, society and family may call us lazy, incompetent, but this is simply not true. Laziness does not exist. No one who is doing perfectly well just chooses to do nothing, so we feel shamed into action. We may go into overdrive for a few days, a few weeks but then we crash.

That is because our inherent ambition or wanting to do something was never the issue, we borrowed even more energy when the bank was very depleted. We didn’t turn our attention to where it was needed? That is our mental health, the cause of what triggered this lack of energy.

Basically if we don’t solve the cause, we can’t solve the consequence. Procrastination is the consequence, the cause is the culprit that is keeping us low or doesn’t allow us to function at our full capacity. Again, it could be any form of mental health or physical health issue.

We need to do an assessment (physical and psychological) to see what is happening and how we can fix it, most of the time it would fall under depression/anxiety/burnout category. We need to take care of it, whether it is through meds/therapy/both.

Unfortunately there is no shortcut, it takes a while to get into the procrastination phase and it will take treatment to get out of it. We have also lived a global traumatic event with the pandemic and the mental health issues from this are still in display now.

The first step is to understand that procrastination is not us being less smart, less capable, worse than our peers, etc. It is not something that we did badly or deserve when we get frustrated with ourselves or even angry, we entrench ourselves deeper in the cycle.

We need to put more of whatever is left from our energy into our wellbeing and empathy towards ourselves. Yes, that mean being there less for others, or that our work may not be optimal. It may mean putting things we find important on hold but it is temporary.

“It is not a sign of weakness or that something is inherently wrong with us, this is the time to accept help and allow others to be there for us. We may need help calling that doctor/therapist or picking up the prescription and that’s okay.”

This may go against every instinct and upbringing we have but it is necessary, we are constantly told don’t be lazyand guilted into action with no regard for our wellbeing and made to be there for others even when we have nothing left to spare, but we have to put a stop to it.

Whether those around us understand or not doesn’t change the nature of what we are going through even if we have just one ally or someone helping us through this can make a world of a difference. Don’t hesitate to ask for help, especially if it is someone you trust.

Procrastination is an alarm system that something is wrong, we need to press that pause button and focus on our recovery. In our life of constant action, stressors and attention, exhaustion is normal and we need that healing in order to take care of ourselves.

I hope that this part has been helpful in helping you recognize some signs of recovery and or show us all what we can look forward to when we start to get better.

A SPECIAL THANKS TO:

• Dr Oliver Schofield, MD (Consulting)
• Dr Seth Gryffen, MD (Consulting)
• Clayton Euridicé Schofield (Editor/Journalist)
• Henrie Louis Friedrich (Analyst)
• Timothée Freimann schofield (Photographed)
• Shot at GQ’s Studios by José Schenkkan and Benjamin Schenkkan Joseph
• In appearance “Hugo-licharre Freimann”