Born This Way

Written by Andi Bazaar, Tsarevich Matthew Wynné, Yevhn Gertz, Henrie Louis Friedrich, José Schenkkan Joseph, Clayton-Euridicé Schofield and Tydalé-Oliver Schofield | Sept 8, 2023

Why the fuck do men always come with the “how about men’s rights” specifically when there is a conversation about women’s safety and equality? If you think us men have some imaginary issues that define our gender, create your own damn space shit for it. Otherwise, shut the fuck up!!!

There are men’s issues but they tie into the same damaged gender roles that they created, anytime a man interjects online when a woman speaks for equality 9.9 times out of 10 there’s never even one post about any men’s issues on their account they advocate for.

When they are mentioned, it is usually as a distraction rather than something they want to improve in good faith because as soon as the dialogue is not at front anymore, they give up those issues they were talking about.

You don't have to be part of the LGBTQIA+ Community or be "this" involved, you just always have to ask yourself a question before remarking others, "Is the way I'm acting how I would want to be treated as a person?" — Simple but makes a great change in someone's perspective.

The older I get the more I realize I never really liked or truly loved anyone, I think that my pride just wouldn’t let me “lose” or feel like I lost. Love takes a lot of effort, effort I was never willing to put in. It’s crazy how maturity can really change your perspective.

I gotta say this, if someone tells you they were hurt by something you said or did, then it hurts. Your perspective of it being hurtful or not doesn’t matter cuz it won’t change how they feel, stop being so insensitive, drop the pride, apologize and be considerate of people's feelings.

"It's quite liberating, how an object of shame can bring about pride with just a slight change in perspective."

I love seeing men talk about how their woman exposed them to new things, perspectives and to be a better being. Y’all don’t know that there’s a lot of pride in some men and when they are open about how a woman changes their lives, it’s another level of love and humblness.

Ironic how you’ll judge someone at some point in your life for their choices and then you end up in the same position, a lil change in your perspective really humbled you and teaches you a lesson if you are willing to being introspective and not let your pride disable your growth.

"No matter how many times I recalculate, change perspectives or reevaluate what happened the best closure I got was no closure. Pride takes people down a long road."

if we’re keeping it buck, “stop expecting you from other people” doesn’t get spoken about loudly enough. A lot of the time we waste energy trying to figure out other people's why?

• why people are not like us?
• why people don’t think like us?
• why people don’t rationalise like us?
• why eople don’t do things the way we do things?

Its funny because we assume the epicentre of “normal” is us (our individual selves) and anyone who doesn’t fit into our definition of “the norm” is wrong but truth be told under what grounds do you have that everyone should be exactly like you. Tell me?

You don’t have to always see it as “I’m better than you (pride) instead constantly meditate on seeing it as I’m just different to or from you” and see how powerful such a shift in your mind-set can change your perspective on things.

From the stage of awareness it might move into a state of denial from parents perspective. We as LGBTQIA+ individuals might be "mourning" of not being heterosexuals?

Most of the coverage of this has been from the perspective of LGBTQIA+ prospective parents, but imagine the horror of being queer or trans kid being placed by a (taxpayer funded) agency that will only place with anti-LGBT parents and in a state that allows "conversion therapy"

Back in August 2018, I saw a news on TV about 9 year old boy killed himself after being bullied just days after coming out.

This is just depressing of course, LGBTQIA+ is aren't new to elementary students and I can understand the outcome once you come out, it’s just a shame that the teachers didn’t stop the bullying.

LGBTQIA+ people aren’t new to elementary students, who can have LGBTQIA+ family members, teachers, neighbors, etc. They actually have to be familiar with something to be intolerant of it, kids aren’t getting the help needed from the parents.

I don’t agree with the whole orientation thing but having parents that hear their kids out and that they could talk to rather than jumping to more dramatic cocnclusion such as this.

You can’t disagree or agree with someone’s sexual orientation, it exists outside of your perspective and suicide is way more complex than simply talking to a parent — LGBTQIA+ youth are already at a higher risk for suicide, even when they’re not being bullied.

At his age he shouldn’t even know if he is straight, gay or bi. Just sad that kids have to go through that kind of thing at such a young age, our society is so messed up it’s ridiculous. If parents would teach their kids ethics our world would be a better place.

My heart aches for this broken world we live in, the fact that a 9 year old would be driven to this point is beyond heart-breaking. Education about acceptance of the LGBTQIA+ community to youth is crucial for kids to be willing to accept themselves and their peers.

This is outrageous! Something has to be done to stop the bullies, parents have to be notified and stop this terrible behavior.

The thing with children is they aren’t born hatefulp, they are taught to be that way by adults who should know better. This little boy was taken from his family too soon in his young life because someone decided to raise their children to hate those who are different such a shame.

For those that are still suffering this day, it’s definitely going to be a reflective time for you. You’ll be feeling somewhat emotional and withdrawn because you yearn for love but it’s important to remember it’s all around you.

It could be one of the first times you’ve spent this holiday alone, or at least without a partner or other people you love around while this is a transition just remind yourself you’re not alone. Nurture your body and mind, don’t be afraid to reach out to others for support.

You’re not being too needy in wanting to have support present, in desiring someone’s embrace through long days and nights but you also have to figure out what you truly want or need and enforce your boundaries as to keep your own individual identity also space in a relationship.

Some of you could be spending time with a family member or a few, most of the day inside or home. You could also be getting together with friends and celebrating your own type of “anti-holi-day" like watching movies, eating snacks amd being each other’s comfort talking through bs.

If there’s work that needs done, cleaning, reorganizing or scheduling - it’s likely you’ll feel an extra burst of motivation to get this done as well. It would help your mental health greatly to clean up your space, move things around and get rid of what’s no longer needed.

It’s very possible that you have an eye-opening talk with someone or a realization in how to move forward w a certain connection/situation in your life but due to your pride may try to ignore this positive direction have an open mind instead and allow a change in perspective.

When I was growing up gay in the 80's - 90's, we all knew some families could be homophobic environments but I never remember the gay rights movement trying to turn lesbian and gay children against their parents. The focus was on encouraging dialogue, the focus was on taking time to listen to and understand one another.

Before one of my family member came out to my parents, he bought a book for parents about accepting their gay child. I remember he hiding it away, so it was ready to give to my parents. I remember he worrying about how that conversation might go.

But no one ever tried to persuade him to turn against my parents, no one ever encouraged him to view my family as an unsafe place. No one ever made him doubt that my parents loved him.

One of the aspects of the modern LGBTQIA+ rights movement that concerns me the most is the way it undermines the family, with a focus on dismissing people as ‘bigots,' the movement creates a clear sense that families are by default, unhealthy and unsupportive environments if you are L, G, B or T.

The movement favours quick rebellion and dismissive judgment over longer-term dialogue. The message from children to parents is clear - “Say you’re on board with every aspect of what I’m saying or else this will not end well." — This subverts the normal child-parent power dynamic and it is not a way to start an honest conversation.

We’re even seeing institutions deliberately blocking parents out of the conversation with schools for example, changing children’s names, changing their pronouns and in some parts of the world administering medication without the consent of or even informing the parents.

Social media (non-existent when I was young) is a big part of this, it suggests families are unnecessary with a new ‘glitter family’ just a click away! This is an illusion of course, a ‘glitter family’ is much less likely to stand by you in the long term than your family. It is all very sad and harmful for so many people and I do not believe that those of us who have these concerns based on our own lived experience and what we now observe should be made to feel that by voicing them, we are somehow the problem.

DIALOGUE IS WHAT WE NEED.

HISTORY, NEVER FORGET

Every year on June, to be exact back in 1969 The "Stonewall Riots” began in NYC’s Greenwich Village, it is a historic and poignant moment for the LGBTQIA+ community. People rose up against discrimination, police harassment and exploitation. It redefined our world.

We must remember that the great strides in equality that some of us enjoy today are not shared by everyone in our community, the recent LGBTQIA+ Equality survey shows little progress has been made in recent years in fighting discrimination against LGBTQIA+ people in the UK.

LGBTQIA+ rights are human rights, we say no to discrimination and we demand a society in which people are free to live in their truth. We send love and strength to all those within the community, we stand with you and no one is free until we are all free.

People are really out here saying things like "I don't support LGBTQIA+ community" like it's a damn sports team. Someone's sexuality is not something you agree or disagree with, it isn't an opinion. What you're doing is literally disagreeing with their existence, denying them a right to exist.

You think the "LGBTQIA+ lifestyle" (whatever that's supposed to be) is weird? You know what I think is weird? I think it's weird that the straights believe with their whole chest that they have the divine right to decide the fate of LGBTQIA+ people.

It's a peculiar thing to get extremely affected by people whose personal lives do not affect you at all, I don't think there ever was a rule that said "for every gay man that falls in love, you need to suck another man's cock."

The ironic part about this is that the same people who scream blue murder against the LGBTQIA+ community will probably be the same people who speak up against discrimination when their own people* are marginalised in other countries.

*own people = group they most identify with.

Unsurprisingly, a lot of religious responses to this thread even though I purposely did not touch on religion, let me make this clear: "if you believe in a God that ordained injustice and cruelty upon other groups of people, i don’t care for your religious views at all."

It's an irony that these people usually use religion as a reason to hate on LGBTQIA+ when in actual fact, no religion preaches hate, insult and discrimination. They're busy scrutinising others "sins" that they fail to understand the religion that they use to "justify" the hate.

With the racist transphobes recently exposed on the internet, I’d like to bring attention to how white folks in the LGBTQIA+ community continuously get away with discrimination towards the most marginalized in the community: BIPOC LGBTQIA+ folks specifically trans people.

Whiteness in the LGBTQIA+ community is pervasive and white gays weaponize their whiteness against BIPOC members of the community. Just because we all share the identity of being LGBT+ and we are not all coming from the same level of privilege.

Calling out racist transphobes is important but it’s the bare minimum, ask yourself "how do I use my white privilege?"

• Do I actively work to dismantle my own beliefs about BIPOC in the community?
• Do I bring attention BIPOC LGBT+ struggle and help them?
• Do I celebrate their joy?

Just uplifting everyone in the community does not recognize the intersections between race or ethnicity and sexuality, do not ignore these intersections esp if you’re white bc white silence = violence. Ask yourself these questions and commit to the work, on a daily basis.

From discrimination to health disparities, the B in LGBTQIA+ faces many challenges that are rarely talked about even within the community. Here’s why bisexual+ visibility is so important!

🏳️‍🌈 Over half of LGBTQIA+ adults in the U.S. identify as bisexual. (Source: @GallupNews)
🇺🇸 That suggests 3.1% of all Americans are bisexual.
📈 For Gen Z, that number rises to 11.5% of the population.
🚫 But bi+ people often suffer double discrimination, both from within and outside the LGBTQIA+ community.
🔎 18% and 27% of bi men and women respectively have experienced discrimination from within the community compared to 4% and 9% of gay men and women. (Stats: @YouGov)

Discrimination is often based on incorrect stereotypes like:

❌ Being bi is halfway to becoming gay
❌ Most bi people are polyamorous
❌ Bi people are confused about their identity
❌ Same-sex relationships = being gay

These can lead to the erasure of bi+ identities, stereotypes can lead to disparities in the LGBTQIA+ community.

🗣️ 36% of bi+ people are out to friends (vs 74% of gay & lesbians)
🧑‍💼 22% are out to colleagues (vs 57% of gay & lesbians)
🎉 43% haven’t been to an LGBTQIA+ space or event (vs 29% of gay & lesbians) Stats: @stonewalluk
🏥 Stigma and invisibility can also lead to health disparities.
🌈 Bi+ people’s health is worse off than their gay, lesbian and straight counterparts.

HERE ARE THREE WAYS HOW 👇

1⃣ Biphobia leads many to delay or not seek needed care.
🧑‍⚕️ Over 1 in 5 bi people reported inappropriate behaviour from healthcare professionals, according to Stonewall UK.
🌈 More than one third of bisexuals don't disclose their sexuality to healthcare providers says @HRC.

2⃣ Lack of right care leads to poorer health, compared to straight people bi people have:

⭕️ Higher rates of STIs
⭕️ Higher rates of cancer
⭕️ Higher rates of heart diseases
⭕️ Higher rates of asthma

3⃣ Stigma and minority stress have a severe impact on mental health, a @stonewalluk report found:

⭕️ 59% of bisexuals experience depression, comparing to 46% of gay or lesbians.
⭕️ Half of bisexuals found life not worth living.
⭕️ Bisexuals have more anxiety than straight people.

Do you know of a LGBTQIA+ person fighting for their war?

The furry art community is among the most diverse and accepting spaces for trans and LGBTQIA+ people as a whole, we all have a responsibility to acknowledge hate and discrimination around us and stop it before it poisons the rest of the community.

Do not tolerate discrimination, Black Lives Matter, Trans rights are human rights. Transphobia, homophobia and racism have no place in our community.

Honestly, to all of this I must add:

"If you do not agree with or support the LGBTQIA+ community, I believe you should at least respect it, as in, not insulting or undervalue people for the sake of them being trans, gay or anything else for that matter.

This is kind of my situation (or at least with certain parts of it), and I really don't get why I should be disrespectful to those who think or are different to me, if they want me to use x pronouns instead of y I'll just use that and that's kind of all there's to it. Obviously there's more to it in certain situations, but I guess you get what I mean.

Q's:
A — I hate all of them.
X — My apologies, did I say something wrong?
Maybe my words were taken wrongly? Or maybe you see my way of thinking as being wrong? I really don't wanna hurt anybody in any kind of way so please state if you disagree with me, perhaps we can talk it out.

"i recommend not falling for troll burner accounts."

If I feel this conversation goes anywhere, I will eventually just stop interacting with this person, thanks for the warning. This should have already been known since the beginning but still glad to say it again and remind others that this is not okay, lets hope more people are accepting of others in the future.

Well said, it's important to remember to point out all types of hate and bigotry even if it comes from those who we are (or once were) close to. I thought that at this day and age these things were almost a thing of the past like, I see old people on their 40's and I can understand if they have mindsets like these but come on this is diminishing.

No-one should face discrimination because of who they are or who they love, together we will work to defend the rights of LGBTQIA+ people and ensure they can live their lives in equality and with dignity. We stand with LGBTQIA+ community.

I have family members who told me (to my face) that they will tolerate my lifestyle choices, first off being straight is not a lifestyle choice 'this isn’t veganism.' Second of all don’t do me any favors by tolerating something, free yourself!

Combating discrimination based on sexual orientation and gender identity:

“some say that sexual orientation and gender identity are sensitive issues, i understand. like many of my generation, i did not grow up talking about these issues but i learned to speak out because lives are at stake."

MENTAL HEALTH STIGMA

"mental health is real, depression is real. anxiety is real, suicide is real."

Depression is real and it’s not a joke, seeking for a professional help is not funny. It’s the kindest thing you should give to yourself when you’re suffering with your mental health, please be kind and sensitive. This is not something you should joke around.

Always check up on the people you love, people we love must learn to communicate to us what they are dealing with. Nobody go to the doctor and not tell what is wrong with them, depression with suicidal thoughts it's not a joke and it's real. So, please stop joking about someone’s mental health.

You can post mental health and suicide prevention hotlines all day, if you really want to help prevent depression, suicides and self-harm try being kinder to others online and in real life.

I want to highlight the stigmatisation of mental health issues in general, I have depression and I take medication for it. It’s something I generally hide in real life due to stigma, especially from family relatives and friends.

• I remember confiding my mental health problems to my parents at a young age, they told me to toughen up and just snap out of it. They told me to stop taking anti-depressants, my father actually threw them away and I stopped taking them for a while and my condition worsened.
• I remember confiding in a girl that I had been dating for a while that I was depressed, she told me to kill myself and that I was a freak. Nowadays, if I meet someone I usually tell just before the first date. Most of them will block me!

Even on Facebook or Instagram, where I’ve been quite open about my mental health problems I’ve been met with attacks about it from many users.

Luckily, I can say I’m better off than others who have more severe mental issues than me, such as personality disorders. The ones who do, that I know of usually are estranged from family or choose to just hide their pain forever.

Living in America and working there was a double edged sword, you could get anti-depressants at a lower cost but most doctors didn’t take me seriously. Coupled with the general lack of empathy and disgust from people who found out, I think I would have taken my own life in here.

This is not saying that there isn’t stigma in the west but mental health awareness is much more prevalent in Australia, during lockdown here I couldn’t talk to any family members except I could at least try to seek some help via my work or through government assistance. It’s not perfect though and lots of people fall through the cracks. Still, it is many years ahead of my experience in my country. I can only hope it gets better.

I just hope that American people can come out about their issues in real life one day without being labelled as lazy or crazy. Yes, I am aware in the West that mental health has been used by various wrongdoers as an excuse for their actions but they are in the minority.

BEING AN ALLY TO LGBTQIA+ COMMUNITY

Dear homophobes, I hope you’re enjoying your sip of tea because I’m about to spill all of it. This year I don’t want to see or hear or even witness people saying rude and stereotypical comments on the LGBTQIA+ community, I had enough of it last year.

I don’t want it to continue, “thats gay” or calling someone a “faggot” is enough to everyone! I don't really care if you think it’s a joke or say it because your “friends” say it but it’s pathetic and please learn to use the right terms to tansgenders because I’ve had enough of people using their old gender terms.

If they’re a she then they’re a fucking she ok, don’t call them a “he” just because they were once a guy. They’ve transitioned and deserve the right terms now or if he was a she once then use the term “he.”

It amazes me to see how stupid people can be when it comes to this and just for the record we’re not “different” we’re just into different taste of people. I’m not gay but yeah I’ve had my struggles with my own sexuality.

This year I will not tolerate any more stereotypical comments or homophobic “jokes.” I’ve stayed quiet for too long and have had enough of this society, if my mom or dads side of the family says something negative about being gay I will snap.

I’m sorry if this is a long rant but I just needed to talk about it, people need to be more open minded about LGBTQIA+ people. People in the “closet” deserve to come out comfortably with no pressure, I really hope this pissed off a homophobe. Rant over!

At times, I really hate the black community with an honorable mention to the black male community. "Why do we handle homosexuality like ignorant ass people?" — I can’t stand when folks make homophobic comments and I don’t say anything out of fear that they’ll come after me.

We’re born and bred to hate gay people and it’s a hard thinking to break out of, soon as somebody is deemed gay they automatically have a negative connotation placed on them for the rest of their life. Suddenly, families turn against them and now they name in everybody’s mouth.

I don’t know what it’s like to be bullied for being gay, but I do know what it’s like being bullied because people think you’re gay. When I tell y’all, my first two years of high school were the hardest I’ve ever faced because every day my name was in everybody’s mouth.

Now I suddenly have to watch how I act, what I say and meticulous watch my being because bru thought I was gay. I’m pretty sure I slipped into a whole depression, that was a whole five years ago but it’s still follows me to this day whenever somebody tells me “so and so thinks or thought you were gay,” or if I check somebody on a homophobic comment now asshole think I’m gay.

In all honesty, you all make sick because people who are actually gay have to go through that on the daily. I folded after a year of that and they have to experience their whole life. Shit, let people live their lives and mind your business also nobody cares about y’all ugly, unwanted opinions. Idk why folks feel like somebody needs to hear or are supposed to care about what they say, 'shut the fuck up' and go about your day.

Watch, I bet some bitch ass person gonna think I’m gay cause I’m an ally for gay people acting like gay folks can’t have allies. Anyways, my rant is over y’all!

• I can’t stand people who think religion is an excuse for being homophobic, transphobic etc. You’re not being faithful you’re just a dick.
• I can’t stand these people, they’re acting like they didn’t know what the hell he was talking about. Our communities are homophobic as hell and Kevin Hart also Charlemagne knows firsthand since they’ve both made homophobic remarks. These are the same men Lil Nas X was referring to.
• I can’t stand people saying “if a girl likes girls and guys she’s bi but if a guy likes guys he’s gay, no such thing as being bi as a guy. if you like dudes you’re gay period.” — SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU HOMOPHOBIC DUSTY ASS BASIC CIS BITCH!

The question that one guy asked was weird af “why did you feel the need to come out now?” like "why shouldn’t he come out now?" — It’s never not the perfect time for a person to come out and express who they are. The problem is the homophobia Black gay men experience after doing so.

With all the LGBTQIA+ people that are being killed and abused of recent, I hope you can see why saying “I’m not homophobic I just can’t stand them,” is an actual problem.
You fucktard!

As a white man of mainly caucasian descent I would just like to say I really can’t stand most of you other white ass people and I will continue to give all you ignorant, racists, homophobic motherfucker’s shit daily. Y’all are embarrassing.

I promise you you can call out people of your own fandom when they say something ableist, racist, homophobic or any other disrespectful thing as a drag during fanwars don’t close an eye or try to justify them only because they’re fighting with that fandom you can’t stand.

Two things I can’t stand are racist or prejudice people and homophobic people, I won’t stand for it and sorry not sorry.

• I can’t stand when people say “you can’t make jokes anymore” and “people are so sensitive nowadays” when the jokes are just them saying something racist, homophobic or transphobic.
• If you’re homophobic, that’s a turnoff. I can’t stand a person who sits and talks about the LGBTQIA+ community as if they aren’t people. Why the fuck does someone else being gay bother you so fucking much?

People trying their best not to be homophobic right now because someone’s career is tanking as a result of it, I’m reading between the lines I give it a few more days before people start showing their ass. They can’t stand to see the gay community be supported.

I understand not everybody is comfortable with people being gay, but when it's your family at least try to tolerate it not talk shit.

If you wanna be happy as a homosexual being, stop seeking acceptance or validation from people around you. Accept and love yourself for who you are, family and friends will tolerate you but still throw homophobic remarks when they see other gay people. So do you, for you and I called it "Pride."

A SPECIAL THANKS TO:

• Andi Bazaar (Writer)
• Mark J. Levstein (Co-Editor)
• Yevhn Gertz (Director Photography/Co-writer)
• Dr Oliver Schofield, MD (Consulting/Co-writer)
• Dr Seth Gryffen, MD (Consulting)
• Timothée Freimann schofield (Photographed)
• Clayton Euridicé Schofield (Editor/Journalist/Co-writer)
• Scott Wynné Schofield (Publisher)
• Henrie Louis Friedrich (Analyst/Co-writer)
• Jwan Höffler Conwall (Art Interior Design)
• Hugo-licharre Freimann (Ass Director)
• Shot at GQ’s Studios by José Schenkkan (Co-writer) and Benjamin Schenkkan Joseph
• In appearance by "Tsarevich Matthew Wynné" (Model/Co-writer)
• In collaboration with "The Me You Can’t See UK" (TMYCSUK) / @tmycsuk